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dro...I haven't seen a more ridiculous mail. What's your partner's fault?? Look here, extending your logic, you were born as a human being & you got IBS.so.....you get my drift??After all, happiness lies in living with the person you love.
 

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Marriage itself cannot cause IBS, but stressing factors within it may, even if you're stressing over a good thing. My IBS went full speed after my marriage was over and I realized what a financial mess he'd left us in and the meotional mess he'd left our children in. Speak to your spouse. Maybe that will help. Are you one of these people(as am I) that constantly worries that everything needs to be perfect and I hate to let people down? I hope you work this out.Jay: I've never seen you post before, so I don't know who you are. Most of us post here for supportiveness, not to be critizied. Your comments aren't very nice. If you don't like the thread-don't read it and don't post. What's rediculous is that you DID post.
 

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Sharon, Jay is a critical person, take a brief moment (only if you have time to waste) and read some of his threads..........not nice at all.Dro, I hear you somewhat only as I do better when I am on my own with my IBS. It's frustrating and feels so wrong. I am in such a great relationship, yet when he's not at home, I can go to the bathroom and relax enough for things to work. He's very supportive and we are a happy couple. I have definitly noticed though, since having IBS for 8 yrs, that when I am single, between relationships, I do so much better. I eat less, am focused on my own stuff, take more time to exercise (which I do anyhow). There's something stressful about having someone else to think of. We were talking about it the other night as we are about to get a house together, so were talking about the pro's and con's. My con is I do better when I only have me to think of, as awful as that sounds.........and I LOVE to be in a relationship and live with my man. I dont' know what the dynamic is. I find I get tight in my intestinal area when I know he's coming over after work.........thats so awful !! And, again, I know it's not him, cause it's any relationship. Hell, even coming home to my housemate (a girlfreind) being home, got me in a knot. I was hoping to get rid of this before moving in with him, yet thats not gonna happen.Then again, are you happy and secure with your relationship ???
 

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Sharon, Im suprised that you have not ever seen any of jay's posts! He is infamous on this BB. He made his appearance on this forum about 2 weeks ago. The first week he joined our happy little group he had 2 threads closed because of his negativety. He is a very closed-minded individual, if you don't agree with what he is trying to force down your throat about his sure-fire quick remedies he goes off on a tirade.
 

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Daisyp, Have you ever tried anxiety meds? I have been taking zanx for over a year now as I would wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety attacks . Now I just don't sleep at all at night. But hardly anyone does at our house, not since my 21 yr old son started working at a night club 45 min. away. I stay up till 4:00 a.m waiting for him as I can't sleep when he is not home, not since the car accident a couple years ago when was injured and his fiancee was killed coming home from a concert at 3:00 in the morning. Sorry I got off the subject, but some times anxiety meds. can make a big difference. Dro, marriage is a big adjustment, especially when you have been on your own and no responsibilities except your own. Heck, I have been married going on 27 years and we're still adjusting.
I have always felt that the first years are the hardest. Once you get past that than it gets easier. I don't know how many times my husband told me he wanted a divorce, he still does every once and a while, but he knows he's stuck with me.
 

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Dro I was just reading your stats, very interesting. Do you still get out and do the things that you did before you got married? I imagine you are the outdoors type with your occupation. Has your life style changed much? I tell you what worked for us. During the first 16 years of our marriage, when we lived in the Bay area, we would take seperate vacations. My husband got 4 weeks vacation a year, (he didn't want me to work) those week we spent together, but once a year sometimes two I would take off to see my family in Okla. or Wash. I would be gone for sometimes up to a month. I would have a good time, and if I decided to drink and party
a bit I could do it without feeling guilty ( my husband is a non partier) My husband always told me "what I don't know won't hurt me."
It is true "absence does make the heart grow fonder". It was on one of my homecomings that my son was conceived.
 

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Twin24life, My father, before he passed away in "98" lived in Auburn, an aunt in Kent, now they retired to Texas, my sister lived in Federal Way, Kennewick, Bonnie Lake and Ione. I still have cousins that live in the Seattle, Tacoma area.
 

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I did not realize I had IBS until my marriage started going down hill and my one of my kids was in a car accident. The stress was too much. My life was out of control and I could not get out of the bathroom. Stress plays a major part, just like the other members says. Maybe when my marriage is over my IBS will go away. Who knows. But life away creates stress. I have realized I need to put myself first,it keeps my IBS is better control.
 

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Funny we haven't heard much from Dro since this thread started.........we've kindof taken off here.MissDiane, I won't take anxiety med's, I have adverse feelings towards western medicine. I spent most my days getting my clients onto natural remedies and off their 'medications'. I do take Serotonin (sp?) releasers daily though and they help alot. I am such a high energy person (unless I am real constipated), so I am working on meditation to calm myself and my insides.I live in Kent/Covington have friends and family in Fed way, Bonney Lake and Auburn......small world.Twin4Life, where in Wa do you live ?
 

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Ahh, I got this, Lake Stevens. I just wrote to you on the other thread to ask where you live. Yelm, Kent and Lake Stevens, what a spread. Well, would be fun to meet up in between maybe at Southcenter for lunch.
 

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Daisyp, I read your stats you are a personal trainer, so that means you must be in pretty good physical condition. I know we got off on the wrong on Dr. D's thread, sometimes a Pc is not a very good communication tool. Did you use the Drs. plan or did you go off on yor own? I remember when I was a late blooming hippie a my friends and I would use ginsing for cleansing the toxins from of our bodies. Have you tried this? Another thing I heard of was a kind of home cultivated fungus like a mushroom. (not the psychedelic kind you get out of cow pasture)
Have you ever heard of this mushrooms, or do know much about healing herbs?
 

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daisy and Sharon,You are right: "Are you one of these people(as am I) that constantly worries that everything needs to be perfect and I hate to let people down?" YES I AM! I kind of got over it with 3rd party pro help. I do get out a lot for work and fun, and I really like that part of my life.Otherwise, my life is better off being married but I must admit my IBS is way better off when we are not together for a few days, esp when the two kids are gone too, but it does not get completely better. I go back to my bachelor diet: irregular meals that are small. Tough to do with kids. The stress of a divorce would kill me, and I don't want to anyway. I did not post for a few days 'cause I just got back to the Internet due to moving to a new office building.Thx for the posts, even Jay.
 

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MissDiane,I am a personal trainer and nutritional consultant. Having IBS has helped me so much as it's forced me to learn more and have been able to help so many people outside of the regular PT responsiblities. I have a few IBS clients who are happy now with their diets.I myself have IBS-C so it's very hard to lose weight and stay in the shape I need to be. IF I get stressed at all, it upsets everything and I gain weight. To me, I am 20 lbs above where I like to be........others would say 10lbs, yet being a former bodybuilder, I have a perfectionist eye for myself. I am very athletic though, running,hiking and biking (besides weight lifting) daily. I am always moving and doing. Thank god for my schedule as I can fit in my workouts. I do know much about herbs and holistic as everything I do comes from a naturalist point of view, and from being raised that way. This is why I am successful above others at the facilities I work at, I target the whole body, the whole being.Twin24Life, what does your age have to do with anything ? ha ha. I have friends from 26-55, no matter to me, we all get along. We already have something in common that binds us. It's like a big family with us here.Dro, I hear you ! I am a perfectionist also with people needing to be settled and happy. I worry constantly about them. When no one is home I am so much more relaxed. When my son is asleep and my boyfriend isn't coming over later, I really relax. If I know they are all busy during the day, I can focus on me. This is an issue we need to deal with. It's usually not about the relationship it's about how we are handling us and others. We need meditation and to chill out. Easy to say, I know what to do, don't know where to start !
 

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I haven't checked your profile, just how young are you ? I look about 28-30 (or so I am told constantly), so my range of folks I look fine with is wide.Maturity is what matters really.Do you have kids ? I had thought I read that. I am working daily now on relaxing my insides. It's a constant process of meditating while still doing things. It's relaxing while doing, and I think it's working. I try to really think of being my own person and thinking of me, where I am at, what I need to do, worrying about me while still doing for others. It's not being selfish, it's being aware of self.
 
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