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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Just received this from my daughter:INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CAT A PILL1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.10) Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the street. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.13) Tie cats front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat to wash pill down.14) Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call at furniture shop on way home to order new table.14) Arrange for SPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
 
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Anxious, Can't relate to cats, but I suppose it's kinda like giving doggies meds.Thanks,------------------LET'S ALL PRAY FOR A CURE TO THIS IBS SOON!BETTIE
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Your welcome Missycat! I just "wish" I'd known about the "Meeting Forum" when I entered it here - but I wasn't about to re-type all this! You see, I don't know how to "add" stuff like this to this board - I just type it out...
 
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Anxious, I"m like you, I have to type everything, and right now I have carpel (sp) tunnel syndrome (I"m quite sure I have mispelled that--but if you've had it, you'll know what I mean (I had it before in the left hand but now in the right hand, so I don't expect to type much for awhile_.------------------LET'S ALL PRAY FOR A CURE TO THIS IBS SOON!BETTIE
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Bettie - wonder if there is a way to just stick stuff on here without re-typing it...That carpal tunnel syndrome is awful, isn't it? I had it when I had my old job, working on a computer for 5 hours at a time, now I'm getting it again just from being on this board so much...
 
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Anxious, I have a SonyPlus Webtv. Directions came with it telling how to cut, copy, paste; I haven't mastered that yet. Sometimes i get a really long e-mail from someone, but it may have a page of the "travel" it's made and since I can't just delete those, I have to type it.You're right, this condition is not fun. I"m wearing a brace and it seems to help. Danny says he also thinks being on this board is what aggravated it---but I can't seem to stay away. Before I retired I was also on the computer quite a lot. ------------------LET'S ALL PRAY FOR A CURE TO THIS IBS SOON!BETTIE
 

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BETTIE,YOU REALLY SHOULD LEARN HOW TO COPY AND PASTE THE STUFF IN. YOU DON'T HAVE TO COPY THE WHOLE EMAIL. YOU CAN SELECT THE PORTION YOU WANT AND ONLY COPY AND PASTE IN INTO A POST.------------------Joe
 

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I and my husband laughed at this until we were nearly ill! We've got a 10lb tom who is the gentlest thing on 4 legs until worming time, then turns into a great raging beast. Thankyou - great hilarity all around!!
 
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anxious, thanks for the laugh. I have one catthat has a heart problem and is on dailymeds. She's become quite sneaky about her pills(2x a day), and I have to watch her for1-2 minutes to make sure she's actually swallowed them. She's very gentle though, andI can put the pill in her mouth, while she's lying down or sitting without even holding her. When I tell her it's pilltime, she gives me a little complaining meow to say she doesn't really want to take that awful pill again. A couple of times recently, I've gotten confused, we take ourmeds at the same time to help me not to forget, and I've actually put her diltiazem in my mouth instead of my prilosec. Fortunately, I've never swallowed it, and even more fortunately, I've never given herthe prilosec! My other cat is another story,getting his mouth opened, can sometimes be hard, but he's also a sweetie. I'm training him to do tricks, so far: sit, paw, other paw, jump up(to different places), beg, & stand up. Jumping through a hoop may be next.ellie.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
ellie - wow! I find that amazing that your cats are so passive... I will NEVER again give either of my cats a pill - I long ago decided to let the Vet do the job - even HE had trouble! And my cats are really sweeties too...
 

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That was hilarious!! Never personally had a cat, but have been around many of my friend's cats!Anxious - yep, giving doggies meds is easy. Cover that pill with a gob of peanut butter, firmly attach to the roof of doggie's mouth - no problem!Ty
 
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Joe, I tried to e-mail you directly, but for some reason, could not finish it, so I'll tell you now that I think you are one of my best pals on this BB. I feel so stupid that I can't seem to do the things that others take for granted. I will try to find the directions again and give it a try. Thanks again.
 
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