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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I find it really hard to talk to DH about my IBS, and he's not a very "open" person who would be inclined to ask questions or even be particularly sympathetic, so I tried to avoid the subject of my IBS. I told him when my doctor diagnosed me with it, and made a vague comment here and there about medications, but that was it. I think the lenghty time spent in the bathroom speaks volumes and I didn't feel the need to elaborate. So the other day, I said something to him about it, and he said that I had never really told him about it.
Could have knocked me over with a feather! So now it almost feels like I *can* talk to him about it - not that I want to usually, but it's nice to know that he's not as squeamish as I would have imagined. I'm just so afraid of being labeled a "hypochondriac", especially by my DH, who almost never gets sick and when he does, he still goes to work.I feel like I've turned a corner with this thing. At least now I feel like DH is with me and we can fight this together. Just thought I'd share.Mary
 

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It sounds like progress to me.The year or so that I was at THE bottom of the IBS pit was really tough because my husband still expected me to do everything as if I were perfectly fine. He'd say sympathetic things, but he'd never help out. And when I couldn't go to all of the dinner parties & get-togethers, he'd get extremely upset & call me anti-social.But, if he gets so much as a cold, the world has stopped spinning & all my attention & care must go to him. But he still goes to work....Other than that, men can be real babies
And it sure goes w/o saying they can be lousy listeners.With the exception of the listening thing, life isn't like that anymore--but I'll never forget it.Thanks for sharing, Mary.
 

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I can also relate to this, although in my case the roles are literally reversed. I have IBS and my DW goes to work. She is very much as you have described here, sympathetic at times but very imaptient others- especially when we are supposed to be going somewhere. She still expects me to carry on as though I'm not sick at all, although when she gets so much as a little stuffy nose it's the "End of the World". She won't so much as get out of bed unless she has to use the restroom, and I wait on her hand-and-foot. No matter how sick I get I can never expect this same treatment in return. But I guess it's partly my own fault- I've gotten very good at acting like I'm not that sick and hiding just how much pain I'm really in. The world is really not very sympathetic to people who are always complaining about how miserable they are, and it's not any easier being a man because you're expected to just "suck it up".
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
It's very interesting to me hearing about this from a man's perspective. My friend's DH has IBS-D too, and I'm always curious about how he deals with it (although I'd never come out and ask him directly).
 

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a couple of very helpful things.IBS explained for people who don't have IBS http://www.ibsgroup.org/main/aboutibs.html alsoIBS Companion - CD or Cassette (Non-hypnosis) An informative and instructive guide about IBS for the non-sufferer. All to often, we forget that IBS not only affects the sufferer, it can have a detrimental effect on the lives of those around the sufferer. Holidays and days out might often be cancelled or restricted. It is not easy having IBS, it is not easy supporting an IBS sufferer either. This short recording is easy to understand explaining the symptoms, common fears, and the explorative tests that IBS sufferers have to go through to be diagnosed as having IBS. For those around the sufferer, it will provide insight into this most troublesome condition. For the IBS sufferer it can be a good source of explaining IBS when you have tried or you are tired of explaining it to others. With gentle soothing background music this recording adds to seeing both sides of the IBS equation. Recorded by Michael Mahoney, known by many sufferers for his gentle, patient approach and for his support in helping IBS sufferers and partners too. http://ibsaudioprogram.com/new_audio_titles.htm
 
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