Need Advice -- Let Myself Get Too Stressed Out

GS - I too read your post on the meeting place. That would be stressful. I really don't have much advice in dealing with aging parents. Mine are still relatively young and healthy. But reading about all those that do sure doesn't make me look forward to the years ahead!As far as the anxiety - is this the first time she's done this? Do you think this was just a manipulation thing or was she really feeling these symptoms? I can totally see being anxious if you had reason to warrant that she was having a stroke and calling 911 is the right thing to do. However, if you think she's trying to manipulate by making "false alarms" you can be prepared the next time it happens by having a plan of dealing with it. I think telling her you will call 911 is what you have to do. If it is a true emergency you would not be able to get there from the next state quickly anyway. If she doesn't think it warrants a 911 call she is certainly capable of calling her doctors office and asking for their advice instead of worrying you so.

BQ, Great advice. I've been working with the psychiatric nurse and my mother's caregiver to pull together a plan. I've asked my mother's caregiver to be on call throughout the weekends and may have her come in five days a week instead of three. I've also ordered some "pill organizers" and am having them shipped to my mom. My mom said last night she will never call me again in an emergency (as she doesn't want me to call 911). I doubt that that will be the case, but once we get her medication organized, she should feel less confusion and be able to think for herself. Bloomers, Her psychiatrist called it manipulation, but what actually happened is that she got scared and confused and didn't know who to turn to for help, but me. Actually, she isn't capable of calling the doctor's office and they won't do anything anyways, except refer her to the ER. She has a MediAlert necklace, but won't wear it. It's all so frustrating, Bloomers, I hope you never have to go through this. People get so upset when they lose their parents at a young age like in their 60's, but they don't know what a blessing that is compared to dealing with frail, stubborn, elderly parents.

Kamie, You are so right. My mom is feeling very scared right now and not able to think properly. She's a very strong woman who is used to being in control of her environment and running the show. I am in the process of trying to establish a balance between caring for her needs and caring for myself.

GailSusan ... I agree with BQ, planning is the key. I used to get so stressed when my dad would call with some disaster he wanted me to solve. I advised him, but he never listened and people used to take advantage of him. This also used to stress me out. I resorted to planning my responses, and maintaining an emotional distance from the problems. I learned this when I was caring for mom with Alzheimers. She needed total care like a baby. At first I found it extremely difficult to dress, toilet, bathe and feed my mother. I learned not to think of her as my mother - the mother I knew was no longer there. She was an elderly person in need of care. Somehow that got me through. I use that technique with some of the things I have to do for hubby. It is hard when you remember the person they once were, and try to do everyday things that they once took for granted. In some ways it hardened me and I don't like that in myself - on the other hand it keeps me sane. Please let me know how you get on ... especially after the emergency which has again taken you to her side. I pray everything goes well.Take careKristy