[AMcCall]

Hi all, me again

 

[race_ttc]

I understand what you are feeling, and what you are going through right now. The whole "what if" scenarios, and there are multiple ones. When I was in those situations, or rather anticipating those situations, I got so wound up just like you are feeling now. It got to the point where I was almost physically sick. I just couldn't think about it anymore. I was completely fried. I had to submit to this feeling, and I just said to myself "fine picture the worst...be in the worst". What I realized was that I had a disease called IBS...it may embarrass me...it may humiliate me...but it wasn't going to kill me. So I tried a different approach to my problem...instead of worrying about the different situations, and trying to anticipate what might happen, I tried to understand it. The best way for me to do this was to meditate, and try to understand and visualize what my body was saying to me. I tried to understand that my body needs to move in order to function...that my intestines need to move in order to function...that everthing that it does is normal...all the noises...all the movements...they are all normal...and that it would take care of itself if I let it. I focused on what a normal body was, and pictured myself (my intestines) like that. I set aside time everyday to do this...to reaffirm my thoughts and my confidence in my body to take care of itself. I visualized letting my mind allow my body to do what it needed to do in order to function normally. Doing this gave me a sense of relief and relaxation for my mind...and my body followed.Take sometime for yourself before you embark on this task. Prepare your mind and your body for it. And remember that you have the strength of everyone here on the BB to help you out. Picture us right there with you, because we are...every one of us.Race

 

[Guest]

Here's my take - scary situation, but you can do it. Leave the door open - if the guy sleeps third shift, he won't be getting up - guys, mostly anway, don't wake in the middle of the 'night' as much as women anyway. Also, when a guy sleeps days, he egts used to sleeping through lots of noise, especially with children around - my hubby did it for years out of neccessity. If your sister could bring the kids over, she wouldn't need your help - either find a way to do this, or let her know you can't, so she can look elsewhere. Suggestion - bring NEW crayons (something about these kids love) and blank white paper, a kids Disney movie for the days when you KNOW it's going to be bad, and colored paper they can cut (or rip) and glue. Anything they can do on their own will be a big help. Also, make lunches easy, and while you're ok, then store them in the fridge for later. I'm a stay at home mom of three, full time sitter of ten, wtih IBS D, so I know whereof I speak on this one. It's not easy and it's not fun, but it's do-able. Also, these two are old enough to understand at least a little if you tell them your tummy hurts and you have to go potty a lot - that they should just keep playing and you'll be back in a minute. Make sure you have sippy (non spill) cups filled before an episode hits, though - or they'll be in the bathroom wanting something to drink. For some reason, kids will wait for food much better than drinks!!! Also, remember that kids in some houses want to follow you in, but know not to follow anyone but Mommy or Daddy - remind them of that! If you want more ideas, or need moral support or to bounce ideas off me, feel free to email me privately - Like I said, I may not know a lot about many of the topics that come up, but this one is in my only area of expertise! I've been doing day care for the past 12 years, first in centers, then in home after my own kids were born. erwin5###prodigy.net[This message has been edited by bethae3 (edited 12-11-2000).]

 

[AMcCall]

Thank you for the suggestions

 

[Guest]

I have IBS d and a little boy running around. He is now into the Potty phase and follows me and anounces to everyone that Mommy is potty! For your neice and nephew you can handle them. be organized and prepare all of their meals at your house and pop them in the microwave at your sis. have their drinks ready in non spill cups and tell them that they have to help auntie and keep watch at the bathroom door. make a game out of it. that way you do not have to worry about the man staying there surprising you. you will be fine. stay organized with the food and drink and please get some good videos for them. kids sit for hours in front of those things. popcorn will add to the time sat in front of the video.remember that they are your babies too and they will not care that you potty a lot.I hope that you do not have to drive them anywhere!good luck and you will be fine at your sister's think of it as your first step towards getting out of your house. the second step can be going to your sister's house everyday for 30 minutes at a time. you will be amazed at your new found comfort zone.

 

[BBolen Ph.D]

These are all such excellent suggestions. Children are very resilient and will not even think twice about your trips to the bathroom. You might want to try to reduce your anticipatory anxiety by reminding yourself that you will get through the day and then just take it minute by minute and see what happens. My guess is that the day, although hectic, will probably go much smoother than you are projecting. ------------------This input is provided solely for educational purposes and is not to be seen as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always consult a qualified professional about your personal medical needs and any questions you may have regarding this information.

 

[Pat B!]

Here's another thought: You said you'd be more comfortable if you could have the kids over at your house. Could you put the cats in a boarding kennel for a couple of weeks (I know - expensive - but it MIGHT be a way through this).You would, of course, have to get the house very clean so that there wouldn't still be any residual allergens around. You might also have to run a HEPA filter to keep the airborne allergens (that will be hard to get rid of) under control.But it might be another approach.

 

[Guest]

Dear AMcCall, Are you taking any anti-anxiety medication? I have been on Paxil for a year, and it has been helping me a lot. I know the longer you stay in the house, the harder it is to go anywhere. I was agoraphobic from the time I was 24 until I was 28.(43 now) I had infertility problems which resulted in depression and anxiety. Making myself go places was the best medicine for me. I just had to accept the fact that I would be searching for a bathroom.(No fun, I know) p.s. I now have two beautiful girls, 14 and 9 after years of operations, 2 miscarriages, and sadness.