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I'm not sure why some people lose the urge (although some that use a lot of stimulatory laxatives get in that state).There is a thing called bowel retraining. Sitting on the toilet at the times you are most likely to have an urge to try to retrain that...Usually about 1/2 hour to an hour after meals for like 15 minutes. You aren't supposed to sit and strain, just see if the urge comes and act on it... http://health.discovery.com/encyclopedias/194.html is an article about it.K.