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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay, well. My boyfriend is turning 18 in a month. I'm 16 1/2... we've been dating for 1 1/2 years today. I don't know what to do. He has severe anxiety. Everyday about, 3-4 times daily he has severe anxiety attacks. You can look at the bottom for the story of his worst just to know how bad it is… He's seen the doctor. He's had his blood tests (do they do diabetes testing whilst testing for anemia?) because his sister is anemic (from her menstrual periods though). He thinks he's diabetic (his mother was but he got tested when he was younger), or He has spinal meningitis (because a teacher told him once a little girl died in her class because of that) or He thinks he has this one rare disease our friend almost died from or He has cancer because he doesn’t believe you can recover from that... He says he isn't depressed and he doesn't know what causes the attacks, but I don't know. His mother died when he was four from a car-accident… She was diabetic and passed out and collided with a truck… so that's what I think is causing it? But why 12 years later and now while he was still a child and scared of everything?I believe he's a hypochondriac because Health related things are the only things he worries about... But, what can I do to help? He has a hard time going to sleep because when he’s falling asleep he thinks it’s the way you feel when you’re dieing. And in school it’s hard for him not to feel weird and he always gets them during school so it disrupts his learning… I try my best when an attack hits, but sometimes he gets mad at me for doing something wrong… I’ve never helped anyone with anxiety before so I’m kind-of clueless. He started having anxiety attacks about 2 months into our relationship, we were visiting my friends from where I moved from and we went to this lake thing where a civil battle happened and he said he thought he was getting possessed… I didn’t understand that it was anxiety but that was his first. He makes himself throw up to feel real sometimes or pinches himself and stuff like that. Doing that worries me. He's going to a counselor but she doesn't even help all that much. He says she talks about movies? He's tried taking medicine but He's scared he's gonna overdose (He overdosed once from his friend’s Zoloft and then they put him on it again 2 years later and he said he felt the same way) and die from that so he didn't even start his new medicine that they prescribed him. He's telling everyone he has though so they won't prescribe him anything else...How can I help relieve his anxiety? I tell him he’s gotten through all those other attacks and woke up the next morning and was living. And I explain to him the chances are slim to get the diseases he thinks he has. But that only helps for a minute and then he gets scared again.Does anyone know of an understandable NATURAL way to relieve anxiety for him? I feel so bad for him, no one should ever feel like that…--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Two days ago we went to the pet shop and he freaked out… we left after a few moments cause the friend driving didn’t know he was having an attack… my boyfriend started getting really angry and was shaking really bad so he thought that he was going to pass out from diabetes. He starts screaming for the police or ambulance to come when we are driving the 15 minute drive home and started crying and he pukes on the side of the car and he asks me to pinch him. So I do, because I don’t know what else to do and I don’t want him getting angry again. Then he yells at me to punch or slap him in the face (but I don’t) because I guess the pinching wasn’t working anymore. My friend the driver starts crying because he’s never seen my boyfriend this way… and we stop at my boyfriend’s dad’s house and the driver runs to the front pounding on the door and crying, but of course NO ONE was home outta the 5 people who live there, they were all gone, so my friend yells curses and kicks the door and his neighbor comes out but then we were already pulling out on the drive to my house (where my boyfriend stays) and by this time he’s not hysterical as much so we go in and he gives my mom a hug and eats something and calms down and he takes a shower with me sitting in the bathroom (to make him feel safe he says) and that’s basically it but that was the worst he’s ever had. One pretty close to that but it didn’t last as long…
 

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He needs to get some serious treatment really soon. There's stuff called Rescue Remedy, it's an herbal tincture, you can get it at any herb/vitamin/mineral store. It helps a bit, but he truly needs to get to something like an intensive therapy program to work through this. It's not going to get any better unless he does. He needs to get to the root of his problems so he can solve them, just taking medication will cover up the problem, but it's always there. There are a few Anxiety/Depression workbooks that you might want to check out at a major bookstore, but I think the best thing for him is to find an intensive therapy program and get him in it, even if he needs to go to the psych ward at the hospital.
 

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Dear, you cannot fix your boyfriend's problems. He's got alot to deal with and needs serious professional help. You must be a sweetheart to stand by him but you must also think of yourself and the stress this is putting on you. You are only 16 and he has years worth of problems that all the love in the world won't fix. It sounds like he needs much therapy and probably medication. I am sorry if I sound cold-hearted but I do not think you should wrap yourself up in this boy. Being 16 is difficult enough without having to figure out someone else's problems, especially very serious ones.Good luck.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
but if I leave him who else will be there to help him through his attacks. He says the reason he doesn't want to die is because he wants to be together and experience life with each other. I want that to. i just want some advice to make it easier for him I can't just leave him because he came with problems, I love him too much to do so.
 
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Oh dear - this is ringing so many horrible bells with me - all through my life I've allus thought I had some terrible condition or another; MS, Frederichs Ataxia, Breast Cancer, Bowel Cancer - not all at once.Anyway, I finally realised what the problem was - DEPRESSION - and in March of this year after a suicide attempt, was admitted to a psychiatric hospital.The reason I'm telling you this - is basically, this is a happy tale - I'm well, working in a variety of odd and wierd jobs admittedly, happy and being a proper wife and mum to my 3 bazzin' kids. How - because I received some proper treatment, I was very lucky because I had a very switched on GP and a very sympathetic psychiatrist and a wonderful support network of nurses, carers etc etc.This young man needs help - I think you are a tough cookie Allknottedup (I'm not surprised you call yourself that) but you cannot do this alone - there really is hope and lots of it - but for god's sake get somebody to listen to him, take him seriously and get some treatment (whatever is deemed to be most appropriate)and he will get well and hopefully you can both get on with fulfilling lives - whether together or on your own.Good luck and stay in touchSue
 

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I don't think you should leave him right now- it could tip him over the edge. Also, you've been together 1 and a half years and relationships are all about helping each other thru the bad bits. You obviously care about him a lot and have been doing a good job so far.But I DO think he needs specialist help. Severe anxiety/panic disorders like this need to be referred to a psychiatrist/psychologist for assessment and treatment, not managed by the GP. If u live in UK getting a referral can be difficult (I know) but if you print out this post and show it to them they'll have to take action.What is also worrying is you mentioned he loses touch with reality/ has hallucinations for example he 'thought he was possessed'. This can be a sign of more serious disorders like schizophrenia and is another reason to seek professional help.On the subject of herbal remedies, you could try Valerian Root or Hops tablets, or 'Kalms' tablets. But it sounds like its gone a bit beyond that. Doctors can prescribe strong anti-anxiety drugs like benzodiazipines.It's interesting you mention his childhood, as most psychologists believe that loss of a parent in early childhood can lead to mental disorders later on. They also say that trauma in childhood (like a parent dying in an accident)is often repressed, and resurfaces later in life. He could really benefit from psychoanalysis.It's great your trying to help him. Good luck and let us know how you get on.
 

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You should seriously find out if he has diabetes. This is the way a person with diabetes usually acts-- angry, moody, crazy mood swings.. also people with diabetes tend to eat a lot without gaining any weight but that might differ from person to person. Or he could have schitzophrenia if he's having a hard time distinguishing between reality and non-reality (him needing you to pinch in order to know YOU'RE real - or him whatever the case REALLY is). Sounds very serious, and really could be medical, not 'all in his head'. people on THIS board of all places should recognize that!!
 

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I'd say to do a diabetes test for definite -But mostly, this might sound strange, but you should try taking him to see a hypnotist. For worrying and mental stuff hypnotists tend to be really good.
 

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I feel so sorry for him i bet he's wondering what what the hell is happening.I started with anxiety at around that age,always thinking i was going to die of something ,brain tumor etc, and hearing of stories or reading stories of people young dying of whatever, i always thought i had the same symptoms and was guna pop me clogs. He's lucky he has somebody who caresr so much,but he also needs somebody maybe profesional who understands what he is going through and to get to the bottom of whatever is happening. Let him know that he is not going crazy and there is lots of people in the same boat and there is help for him.Get him to log on to this site its gr8.Good luck
 
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