Hi, my boyfriend and I are trying for children. I am really excited at the prospect of starting a family. I'm not scared about the pain of childbirth, the weight gain etc. and I'm really looking forward to having a baby to look after but there's just one thing that's really really worrying me. My family have a history of big babies and difficult births. I'm just terrified that I will get a third of fourth degree tear during birth and that it will lead to bowel incontinence. I have enough difficulty controlling my bowels as it is! I have had severe ibs-d since the age of 15 I think if I had a tear of that kind that would be it for the rest of my life, no treatment could help, I would be incontinent for the rest of my life.Obviously this is something I imagine all women worry about but I can't help but feel it's worse because of the ibs. Has anyone had experience of this? I would prefer to have a natural birth and I don't like the thought of the scar from a c-section but it would definitely be preferable to the alternative. It's not really a risk I want to take. I don't even know if this is valid grounds for an elective c-section. I'm in the UK so there is the possibility of getting it on the nhs but I'm not sure I wold qualify and we don't really have to money to go private. Does anyone have any experience of this?