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Hi, my boyfriend and I are trying for children. I am really excited at the prospect of starting a family. I'm not scared about the pain of childbirth, the weight gain etc. and I'm really looking forward to having a baby to look after but there's just one thing that's really really worrying me. My family have a history of big babies and difficult births. I'm just terrified that I will get a third of fourth degree tear during birth and that it will lead to bowel incontinence. I have enough difficulty controlling my bowels as it is! I have had severe ibs-d since the age of 15 I think if I had a tear of that kind that would be it for the rest of my life, no treatment could help, I would be incontinent for the rest of my life.Obviously this is something I imagine all women worry about but I can't help but feel it's worse because of the ibs. Has anyone had experience of this? I would prefer to have a natural birth and I don't like the thought of the scar from a c-section but it would definitely be preferable to the alternative. It's not really a risk I want to take. I don't even know if this is valid grounds for an elective c-section. I'm in the UK so there is the possibility of getting it on the nhs but I'm not sure I wold qualify and we don't really have to money to go private. Does anyone have any experience of this?
 

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I have had severe ibs for many many years.I have a son who is 18 this year,i had him by emergency c-section.With the history in your family,whenever the time comes and you are expecting,i would explain everything and all your concerns to the hospital doctor and midwives,i am sure they will keep an eye on you and maybe scan you a few times to keep an eye on how the baby is growing.If you can give birth normally i would,you dont want to go through major surgery uneccessarily.
 

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I'm not entirely familiar with the health care system in the UK, so forgive me if I mention anything that's impossible for you to do. Right now, I would recommend finding and getting established with an OB/GYN who you trust and respect. Having a doctor who is willing to listen and take the time for your concerns about pregnancy, labor and delivery will be very helpful to you. When you do become pregnant, you may wish to create a birth plan - Something written down to bring with you when you go to the hospital to deliver. That way you don't forget to mention anything in the chaos that often comes with arriving at the hospital and getting settled in. Also, if it's something that you and your doctor have worked on together, other doctors (which are possible depending on when you deliver) are more likely to take note of it.I would definitely mention your family history and concerns for incontinence. Sometimes larger babies are the result of gestational diabetes, so they may wish to watch you a bit more closely for that. They may also be more likely to do more frequent ultrasounds to monitor the baby's growth and if it seems too large to be safe, then they will do a C-section.Oh, and if you do wind up with a C-section, it's amazing how well they can conceal the scar. If it's a nonemergent situation, they tend to make an incision at your bikini line, which is somewhat masked by natural skin contours and would be hidden by most underwear and bathing suits. However, if you were to have an emergent C-section, they would have to do the traditional vertical scar in your abdomen in most cases.Best of luck to you!
 

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I had an emergency c-section and my scar is very neat and at my bikini line and is a vertical scar.As far as i am aware they do not do horizontal scars anymore,it is done at the bikini line most of the time.
 

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I'd rather get a C-section than having a bad case of hemmies for a whole month due to the pushing.
I'm also trying to conceive.
 

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I had a tear involving the external sphincter but only just recently discovered it was a contributory factor to my urgency. I had a smallish baby but I'm pretty small myself. I discovered after the delivery that my consultant didn't think I could deliver normally due to my small pelvis. Well, in the end it was a fairly brutal forceps delivery after a delayed second stage. The episiotomy was pretty painful and took quite a long time to fully heal. Now I know why! However, I did deliver my second child normally but by that time my "IBS" was well established. I think that the angst from worrying about my urgency has given me IBS now and I seem locked into a cycle of despair. If I had my time over then I would definitely have opted for a C/S but hind-sight is a great thing. I have 2 wonderful kids so I try and remember my IBS is perhaps a small price to pay even though it has undoubtedly impacted on my life in a huge way-I've had it now for 26yrs. Of course everyone is different and just because I had problems doesn't mean the same thing will happen to you. Take good advice and good luck with whatever you decide.
 

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I've had the exact same fears. I was so afraid of vaginal birth, I had massive anxiety and my blood pressure spiked. Ended up having a c-section and, while the incision healed just fine, it is abdominal surgery and a long recovery. Just keep that in mind, especially if you are considering breastfeeding. If you can deliver vaginally, you won't have to deal with both the pain of breastfeeding (it demands a lot from your body) along with the pain and recovery of abdominal surgery.From an IBS perspective, pregnancy in-general changes things internally. Having a c-section won't mean you are less likely to have it afterwards.Good luck to you!
 

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Elective C-sections are associated with a lot of their own complications. The baby is more likely to have breathing problems and not as likely to breastfeed well. You may have difficulty with bonding if you end up going under general anesthesia, and the drugs for pain relief can make you pretty groggy. The rate of infection after a C-section is much higher than a vaginal birth.It's definitely your choice, but C-section isn't an easy road for the baby or mother.I gave birth to my daughter naturally and ended up with very severe hemmies, but my doc didn't think a C-section could have prevented them. I'm glad I had a natural birth, because I was wide awake and able to bond; my daughter was able to breastfeed and make eye contact the moment she came out. I wouldn't trade those moments for anything in the world-- including a butt full of hemorrhoids!At the same time, though, it's YOUR body and your choice.
 

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When i had my emergency c-section,i had the epidural,so was awake.I had no problems bonding with my baby boy and he was born healthy.I was in labour for 14hours before it was decided they needed to operate,so i was exhausted by that time.I think if you are able to give birth naturally you should,a c-section is not an easy choice or as some may think an easy option.It is a major operation which takes time to recover from.
 
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