[TanaG]

Did anybody wonder what would happen if everything ended? How would you be able to be "normal" again? I will tell you. I've been clinically IBS free for the last 2 weeks. I don't know what happened or what I did but it just stopped and went away. But each day...each damn day I live in fear that it might come back...even worse than the one I had when I knew it was there. I ended up yelling at my poor boyfriend because he put too much spice in the food...I accused him of wanting me to be on the toilet next day in pain....

I am afraid each time I take a bite ....each time I (finally) have a sip of coffee....I am afraid of everything! I am wondering...how long does it take to be able to go over the emotional scars this thing leaves on you?P.S. : but, to be honest, now that I realised that ;ve had this for all my life, I am feeling much better....so it is there and it is gone for some time...oh well...I guess, as I used to say, it is much more to me than IBS...I swear on that! LOL

 

[IanRamsay]

To be honest, enjoy every day like teh new day that it is. what ever the reason is that it went away, accept the fact that it has gone away for a week, a month, a year however long, and enjoy it. now go and make up with your boyfriend!CheersIan

 

[Kathleen M.]

Working through the fear and anxiety once the danger has past is something a lot of people need to work on.If standard reminding yourself that this is the present, not the past, and you shouldn't worry about the symptoms unless they show up and that sort of thing doesn't help this ease you might seek some help for controlling the anxiety and healing from the mental strain of all this. Learning what you need to let go and get past things is a great skill to learn, and one a lot of us never did. But learning how to do that will help you anytime that life lifes all over you, and sooner or later it always does.Some of what you did to survive the disease may have worked OK for you in that moment. The problem is if you practiced them a lot you have that habit set and unlearning things is always harder than learning them the first time around. So be gentle with yourself because this isn't unusual, but do try to find things that work for you to let go, or find help if you can't do it on your own.

 

[S_LIne]

Welcome to the back to normal club. I am about 100% everyday but still have an off day once and a while. I know what you mean your always worried about eating something as you don't want it to come back. I still worry about it every time I eat something new or I am going to be gone all day or somewhere over night. I think you just forget about it after a while.....hopefully. Good luck.

 

[riddick]

I sort of know how you feel. I have been basically symptom free for nearly 3 months! In that time i have seen my weight go up from 55kg to 71kg.......for me that is brilliant.I live in fear though of another 'episode'. I know it's not if but when it will happen. My 'IBS' (could actually be my gallbladder) has resulted in me being put on psychiatric drugs because of the effect it had on my mind.Extreme anxiety caused by a slow moving NHS and dr's who couldn't care less. The only Dr who has shown any empathy was the psychiatrist and she was the one who started me on the mirtazapine which i believe has worked wonders for me.#I was always very sceptical of IBS/psych link......but after being a 'victim' i no longer am.If you have tried everything for your IBS but haven't tried mirtazapine then give it a go......it not only calms anxiety but also the nerves in the gut.My colleagues at work can't believe the physical difference in me. They showed me a photo from 3 months ago and one now...it is hard to believe it is the same person.

 

[peaches41]

Riddick - so glad for you, any side effects from the mirtazapine?

 

[cherrypie09]

My Ibs-d is still very bad, 1-3 imodium a day and I never get constipated, I suffer with anxiety and depression because of the ibs-d and have been on 45 mg Mirtazapine for about 11months, its good for the depression but has not done anything for the ibs-d.

 

[riddick]

No side effects other than a massively increased appetite!

 

[onyx]

Tana - For quite awhile now I have been trying to deal with the psychological fallout from many years of IBS-D. I'm improved now from when I was at my worst, but it's not gone, and alas feels like it never will really be gone. It's like something broke years ago, and it managed to heal or settle down somewhat, but I don't think I'll ever be the same.As I try to pick up the pieces from a life shattered by IBS many years ago I'm really struggling with all the fears and doubts and uncertainties that this cursed affliction has brought upon me. Even though, on average, I'm better than I was, I still have deep fears of trying to get back into life. All those things I used to like doing, e.g. socializing, dating, travelling, working, etc., are all things now that I sadly and ironically fear and worry about. If I was completely healed and I knew IBS was gone for good that would make it easier to confront those anxieties built up over so many years, but I still have it, it still reminds me daily that something is wrong with me, even though I'm - for the moment - doing better physically with it. In a previous post I brought this up and Kathleen recommended Barbara Bolen's book "Breaking the Bonds of IBS". I've been reading and rereading that alot and it seems to help me get perspective, so you may want to check that out. I'm encouraged to get back into life and try some things out, but on the other hand I don't really even know what kind of life is realistic for me anymore. I still have all the big dreams I used to have, but they just seem so impractical now that my confidence was been wrecked by my condition. In a way, when I was really sick, things were simpler - I simply had no choice but to drop out of life as I coudn't manage anything in the way of career, relationships, responsibilities, etc. But now, I'm in this kind of tortuous limbo where I'm just well enough to take a few more bites out of life, but still messed up enough to hinder any real planning I'd like to do. Sometimes I think, "C'mon, just get back out there and do your best" and other times I think "What are you thinking? You're trying to have a life that no longer is possible for you". It's heartbreaking and makes me feel like I'm stuck in this place where I can't make any decisions, just watching more of my life tick by while IBS keeps holding me back. Anyhow don't mean to bring you down but just letting you know you're not alone in the kind of feelings you're wrestling with.

 

[overitnow]

It did take awhile for it to sink in; but I was better for some months before I really believed it. To me, I am just grateful that it ended and there really seems to be no reason for it to ever come back. What more could you wish for than a great today?Mark

 

[Borrellifan]

Just having a semi-normal day with moderate symptoms makes me feel alive again. At times I can sense and feel the motivation that I once had before the IBS hit me but it goes away quickly when symptoms flare and it stays away. I just can't seem to get motivated or feel confident when I feel this way. I know what its like to feel normal and can't wait until I figure out how to free myself of this misery. If I do i promise I will live every moment to the fullest like I once did.