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Hi: I am a 26 year old guy suffering with IBs for the last 8 years. I am involved in a relationship for the last 18 months and slowly but surely have seen my symptoms increase. I am getting to the point where I don't want to attempt to go out because of a possible flair up. I think it is very unfair to my girlfriend that I am miserable now and she is dealing with it the best she can. I was wondering if anyone here, married or not, have had similar problems. Have you had to break off the relationship at all because of the symptoms? she is very understanding and copes with it, but it seems unfair that she has too. What do you all think?
 

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hi ibsinaz, i also myself suffer from this and now anoriexia for 3 years now....i think if she truly cares she will stick by you....my boyfriend and i have even fought over this because i have days where i don't want to do anything and he ends up having to take care of the kids but he sticks by me and understands. just let her know how you feel about her having to deal with this and that your sorry but if she wants to leave you have to respect that because only us who are going through it can truly understand. good luck!
 

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hi ibsinaz, i also myself suffer from this and now anoriexia for 3 years now....i think if she truly cares she will stick by you....my boyfriend and i have even fought over this because i have days where i don't want to do anything and he ends up having to take care of the kids but he sticks by me and understands. just let her know how you feel about her having to deal with this and that your sorry but if she wants to leave you have to respect that because only us who are going through it can truly understand. good luck!
 

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You need to be open with her. My husband is very patient. I will have to say that I long ago overcame my fears, and do not allow IBS to control my life, I control IT. My BMS are mostly in the AM, so my evenings are mine. If I DO have to go sit, hubby will occupy himself while I do my thing in whatever potty I can find. He ALWAYS stops immediately when I say I have to go, and will help me find a potty. Honest communication without constant complaining will usually work, and if you feel sorry for your partner, then you need to do something about your symptoms. Stress makes IBS worse, and if you stress about the symptoms you only get more of them. RELAX, that is the most important thing you can do for yourself. Less stress = less IBS.Hope this helps!Maggie
 

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You need to be open with her. My husband is very patient. I will have to say that I long ago overcame my fears, and do not allow IBS to control my life, I control IT. My BMS are mostly in the AM, so my evenings are mine. If I DO have to go sit, hubby will occupy himself while I do my thing in whatever potty I can find. He ALWAYS stops immediately when I say I have to go, and will help me find a potty. Honest communication without constant complaining will usually work, and if you feel sorry for your partner, then you need to do something about your symptoms. Stress makes IBS worse, and if you stress about the symptoms you only get more of them. RELAX, that is the most important thing you can do for yourself. Less stress = less IBS.Hope this helps!Maggie
 

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I have been immensely fortunate to have had a very understanding boyfriend the past 2 years. He has been so patient and supportive during all of the nights and days where I was doubled over in pain, in the bathroom, unable to sleep etc. He has made me peppermint tea, rubbed my tummy, and held me in my moments of despair. But he is moving to London soon, and my biggest fear is that the next guy won�t be able to comprehend this illness.I have had to leave social events, or skip them altogether due to IBS. When my symptoms act up, we make dinner at home and try to make to best of it. If I am out somewhere, I�ll try to stick it out as long as I can, but if I need to go home, he understands. I feel bad that we have to alter our lives around this, but he says that he just wants to be with me. Is all of this fair for him? No. But he loves me as I am, weird stomach and all.You haven�t mentioned what aids you use to help yourself. I have also had IBS for 8 years and I couldn�t have lasted this long without food enzymes. I carry these capsules everywhere and when I eat something even remotely questionable, I take a few. Ingredients like Betaine HCl, Bile salt, Protease, and Bromelain help digest proteins and Lipase helps to digest fats. The capsules break down foods and help me avoid gas, bloating, pain, & indigestion. You can find them at health food stores. They might not work for you, but I highly recommend them.I also avoid trigger foods. My friends know by now that I can�t eat out at European restaurants�no tomatoes, dairy, olive oil etc. I usually suggest something Asian; Japanese is the best for me. If you are out at a bar and your stomach hurts, I suggest drinking Agnostura bitters and soda or bitters and water. Bitters are an anti-flatulent & help to settle the stomach. (Personally, I also avoid carbonation because it causes excess gas.)�A life lived in fear is a life half lived�. If you live like a hermit than the IBS is winning!! I heartily agree with maggiew�you control your health. It is a daily struggle for all of us, and hopefully your girlfriend will recognize that.
 

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I have been immensely fortunate to have had a very understanding boyfriend the past 2 years. He has been so patient and supportive during all of the nights and days where I was doubled over in pain, in the bathroom, unable to sleep etc. He has made me peppermint tea, rubbed my tummy, and held me in my moments of despair. But he is moving to London soon, and my biggest fear is that the next guy won�t be able to comprehend this illness.I have had to leave social events, or skip them altogether due to IBS. When my symptoms act up, we make dinner at home and try to make to best of it. If I am out somewhere, I�ll try to stick it out as long as I can, but if I need to go home, he understands. I feel bad that we have to alter our lives around this, but he says that he just wants to be with me. Is all of this fair for him? No. But he loves me as I am, weird stomach and all.You haven�t mentioned what aids you use to help yourself. I have also had IBS for 8 years and I couldn�t have lasted this long without food enzymes. I carry these capsules everywhere and when I eat something even remotely questionable, I take a few. Ingredients like Betaine HCl, Bile salt, Protease, and Bromelain help digest proteins and Lipase helps to digest fats. The capsules break down foods and help me avoid gas, bloating, pain, & indigestion. You can find them at health food stores. They might not work for you, but I highly recommend them.I also avoid trigger foods. My friends know by now that I can�t eat out at European restaurants�no tomatoes, dairy, olive oil etc. I usually suggest something Asian; Japanese is the best for me. If you are out at a bar and your stomach hurts, I suggest drinking Agnostura bitters and soda or bitters and water. Bitters are an anti-flatulent & help to settle the stomach. (Personally, I also avoid carbonation because it causes excess gas.)�A life lived in fear is a life half lived�. If you live like a hermit than the IBS is winning!! I heartily agree with maggiew�you control your health. It is a daily struggle for all of us, and hopefully your girlfriend will recognize that.
 

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I have had ibs for 6 years, my husband and i have been married for going on 9 and just had a baby. He is the most understanding man int he world. He takes care of me and defends me when people dont understand im sick. I often feel like he should have better, someone that is not ill, but he reassures me. He says he married me for better or worse and that he loves me and no matter what happens he will be there. This does not mean it makes me feel better, i often tell him he should leave me and not have to have a sick wife, he laughs and tells me to not say such things.I guess you just have to find someone that understands and will stick by you. Relationships are hard anyway without having to deal with this, just explain things, lead them here to read about it. Maybe you could meet someone here. I wish you luck.
 

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I have had ibs for 6 years, my husband and i have been married for going on 9 and just had a baby. He is the most understanding man int he world. He takes care of me and defends me when people dont understand im sick. I often feel like he should have better, someone that is not ill, but he reassures me. He says he married me for better or worse and that he loves me and no matter what happens he will be there. This does not mean it makes me feel better, i often tell him he should leave me and not have to have a sick wife, he laughs and tells me to not say such things.I guess you just have to find someone that understands and will stick by you. Relationships are hard anyway without having to deal with this, just explain things, lead them here to read about it. Maybe you could meet someone here. I wish you luck.
 

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I have been with my current boyfriend for 8 months. I have been a little secretive about my IBS. He know's i have it but dosent really know much about it. I have told him that sometimes i feel sick and some foods will make me sick but thats about all he knows. I am afraid to tell him moreabout it because the guy i was dating when i first got really sick was a total jerk about it. I know I should just tell him the truth but i dont want to gross him out. to be honest it kinda grosses me out. i know i have to get over being ashamed and emberrased but i am just hung up on it i guess. Dose anyone have any suggestions on how to broach the subject or a way to explane it that it wouldent sound soo bad...
 

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I have been with my current boyfriend for 8 months. I have been a little secretive about my IBS. He know's i have it but dosent really know much about it. I have told him that sometimes i feel sick and some foods will make me sick but thats about all he knows. I am afraid to tell him moreabout it because the guy i was dating when i first got really sick was a total jerk about it. I know I should just tell him the truth but i dont want to gross him out. to be honest it kinda grosses me out. i know i have to get over being ashamed and emberrased but i am just hung up on it i guess. Dose anyone have any suggestions on how to broach the subject or a way to explane it that it wouldent sound soo bad...
 

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I can very much relate.I have been with my boyfriend for over 7 years now and i go out less and less due to daily IBS.I just tell him to go out without me if i'm feeling bad.The bad part is that he never invites me anywhere with his friends now.That's an entire other story that i have posted before.You are definately not alone sweetie!!! :love:
 

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I can very much relate.I have been with my boyfriend for over 7 years now and i go out less and less due to daily IBS.I just tell him to go out without me if i'm feeling bad.The bad part is that he never invites me anywhere with his friends now.That's an entire other story that i have posted before.You are definately not alone sweetie!!! :love:
 

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For 10 years my wife just thought I had to go to the washroom more than others. She had no idea of the actual frequency or what I was going through. Because she is a big believer in doctors, my experience has been otherwise, and we are both stubborn inour beliefs, it wasn't until I got this gone that I was able to talk about it with her. If she is willing to stick with you, then you must be willing to keep trying remedys until you find something that works for you, no matter how difficult that may seem. I cannot see another way to honour her committment.
 

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For 10 years my wife just thought I had to go to the washroom more than others. She had no idea of the actual frequency or what I was going through. Because she is a big believer in doctors, my experience has been otherwise, and we are both stubborn inour beliefs, it wasn't until I got this gone that I was able to talk about it with her. If she is willing to stick with you, then you must be willing to keep trying remedys until you find something that works for you, no matter how difficult that may seem. I cannot see another way to honour her committment.
 

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quote: Dose anyone have any suggestions on how to broach the subject or a way to explane it that it wouldent sound soo bad...
A member of this board wrote a nice brochure to explain IBS to those who do not have it. It provides a decent description of the many faces of this scourge and may open a dialogue for further discussion and understanding. Check it out: IBS explained for people who don't have IBS
 

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quote: Dose anyone have any suggestions on how to broach the subject or a way to explane it that it wouldent sound soo bad...
A member of this board wrote a nice brochure to explain IBS to those who do not have it. It provides a decent description of the many faces of this scourge and may open a dialogue for further discussion and understanding. Check it out: IBS explained for people who don't have IBS
 

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I have been dating my boyfriend for two years and since day one he was completly supportive and helpful. I think what really helps a relationship is when you are upfront and tell the person all about IBS when you first start dating. I am not saying your first date, I am saying when you are only seeing each other. I told my boyfriend everything, wasn't shy about it and told you, "Sometimes I may get sick without any notice and I might have to cancel. It has nothing to do with you, it is my stomach something I can not control"But when I first had IBS during the time of being in and out of the hospital, my ex-bf was an idiot. He helped me when he could, but since we only dated a few months after i got IBS i dont know how he would do. He seemed to pick parting after me. One time I told him i wanted to go back to his dorm room because i was in pain, so he flung me the keys and said "well go"! I was like are you coming with me and he replies, "No im staying at this party"Shortly after I kicked him to the curb. But the boyfriend I have now, is the most sweest caring boyfriend, granted if anyone saw the movie, "LADY KILLERS" they might hit their boyfriend if they are laughing at the IBS jokes in that movie. But it is all harmless!
To end this post....your girlfriend cares for you and I am sure is very supportive of you. Dont feel bad that you cant do things and dont feel bad that you think you let her down. Always remember true love is when someone loves you for you who are as a whole, including good ol IBS!Sometimes when i feel im being a burden on my bf, I write him little poems or write him little letters saying how much i love him and how much he is there for me when i am sick and in pain. Hope this helps, we are all here with you on this. And remember, you are never alone
Mel
 

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I have been dating my boyfriend for two years and since day one he was completly supportive and helpful. I think what really helps a relationship is when you are upfront and tell the person all about IBS when you first start dating. I am not saying your first date, I am saying when you are only seeing each other. I told my boyfriend everything, wasn't shy about it and told you, "Sometimes I may get sick without any notice and I might have to cancel. It has nothing to do with you, it is my stomach something I can not control"But when I first had IBS during the time of being in and out of the hospital, my ex-bf was an idiot. He helped me when he could, but since we only dated a few months after i got IBS i dont know how he would do. He seemed to pick parting after me. One time I told him i wanted to go back to his dorm room because i was in pain, so he flung me the keys and said "well go"! I was like are you coming with me and he replies, "No im staying at this party"Shortly after I kicked him to the curb. But the boyfriend I have now, is the most sweest caring boyfriend, granted if anyone saw the movie, "LADY KILLERS" they might hit their boyfriend if they are laughing at the IBS jokes in that movie. But it is all harmless!
To end this post....your girlfriend cares for you and I am sure is very supportive of you. Dont feel bad that you cant do things and dont feel bad that you think you let her down. Always remember true love is when someone loves you for you who are as a whole, including good ol IBS!Sometimes when i feel im being a burden on my bf, I write him little poems or write him little letters saying how much i love him and how much he is there for me when i am sick and in pain. Hope this helps, we are all here with you on this. And remember, you are never alone
Mel
 

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wow, congratulations to all those who have husbands or boyfriends that STAND UP AND DEFEND YOU ABOUT YOUR IBS TO OTHERS. Keep, let me repeat , Keep them!!!!!! I was married for about 8-9 years before my IBS-D Started and believe me if my husband ever stood up in front of others and said how I struggle or what I go through I THINK I WOULD FAINT. He hasn't been much of a support to me and the funny thing is HE THINKS HE PROBABLY HAS BEEN A SUPPORT, proves how clueless he is.
 
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