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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello to everyone, I just wanted to introduce myself(and my situation) and also say that it's great to find a place where I can talk freely about IBS and have it fall on ears who know what I'm going through. I can't begin to describe how fed up I am with people saying "You just need more exercise" and "Try eating healthy"...Here's the vitals, for those of you who don't have two hours to sit though my admittedly Novel-length post(sorry! I write a LOT)I'm 29, I have been living with my parents for 6(?) or so years, I had to sell my car a few years ago because it broke down and I couldn't afford to fix it, I no longer have a job, as my IBS has kept me from keeping anything close to a normal schedule for the last 5 years... Let's see.. Oh, no health Insurance, I'm in the middle of trying to qualify for Disability(nightmare, anyone?), I just...JUST got another car, thanks to my brother getting a new one. It's falling apart at the seams, but at least I'll be able to go to one of the free clinics on a regular-ish basis now, instead of trying to hit the "feeling good enough to go out- not in the middle of a panic attack-have a car to borrow to get to the doctor" Holy Trinity that is my life. I'm in constant discomfort, every hour of every day. on a 10 scale, my pain has never been below a 1, ever ever, in the last 7-8 years(that's not to say that 1 is my normal... Just showing you that I haven't been without at least some pain in so many years). I'm nauseous all the time, sometimes it's just unexplainable, other times it's from the intestinal pain creeping up into my stomach. I am constantly exhausted, I sleep poorly, half insomnia-half pain related, I guess.Just about the only time I'm worry free, if never pain free, is when I'm laying down in bed, during the day, completely still. That seems to be the only time I'm completely myself. But I'm usually in a good mood, I hav a sense of humour, and I like to use it regularly, so I try not to let life get me depressed... too often, anyway.That's the main talking points, I guess... But, as I like to write way too much, there's more, so if you have nothing else to do for a while, sit back, relax in your favorite comfy chair, and read on... Okay, I've had digestive problems since childhood, as far back as I can remember. There's one doctor visit that sticks out where my pediatrician said I needed more fiber, after I went in for a small list of symptoms. What's weird is that I know now that one of those symptoms was panic attacks. I was about 10 years old. It's took me a LONG time to realize that I was having panic attacks. Mostly because I didn't know what a panic attack was, and in an era before "Google", the only way to find out is through a doctor. And They've done nothing but drop the ball my entire life. I don't blame them entirely, my parents were they "walk it off" type, and attributed everything to me being "sensitive" and "over dramatic" about the pain, which they relayed to the doctors. So I stopped talking to them about it, and I never said anything to them about the panic attacks.Anyway, I have alternating IBS, for one end of severe to the other. And I mean Seeevvveeeerrreeeeee. With the D, I get intense pain that makes me sweat(and chilly, and dizzy...) and it can last for days. Ugh, if I weren't in the middle of a "flare up" right now, Id be getting anxious just thinking about it. One symptom I have that doesn't seem to be on the "list of symptoms for IBS" is getting feverish when I get intense Diarrhea. My Joints ache, I get chills and sweats(not the same as the sweating I get from the pain)... It's almost like flu symptoms except that it happens almost everytime the intense D hits. When I have what I call "normal Diarrhea" I don't get this, it's just when I have a flare up that lasts for days. I'm rambling on about the D more than the C, mainly because I'm not constipated right now, but I go from one to the other, not stops, express train-style. I'll have a bout of diarrhea for a day, and immediately after I finish my last bowel movement, I'll feel bound up. No BM brings relief, usually I just feel a little less like needing to go to the bathroom. ...Okay, that's a small lie, I get relief for like 5 minutes, but it usually takes about half an hour after a BM to get those 5 minutes of Fun Fun Happy Time.To get a little too descriptive here, when I say intense diarrhea, I would describe it as Violent evacuation of bowels. All of my muscles tighten/cramp up during this, and I'm literally expending energy Not to scream.. There's no constant, but I'd say a majority of the time, it's liquid and it feels like it's going on forever. Sorry for the gross-out factor, here..With constipation(wow, you'd think they could come up with smaller words for this stuff), it's usually like my insides have turned to stone. It hurts to breathe, I get nauseous a lot, and I'm more prone to anxiety- and panic-attacks. Life is hard. My good friends know that I can only say "I'll try" when they ask if I can make it to an event . I spend most of my time waiting. Waiting for pain to ease, waiting for D to be over, waiting for a bowel movement with the C... waiting to be able to go and just DO SOMETHING.. I could write a whole lot more, but I'm sure if you've gotten this far, you're nodding off at the keyboard, of have a glare induced headache... Plus, I feel like absolute hell. So I'm going to go lay down. Thanks for reading!
 

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Here's a little more info, since I had to scoot out pretty quick yesterday. Seems like I can't even sit in front of the computer for long, these days...So, I've been on bentyl, which didn't work so much, but did make me lose my sense of taste, which was quite interesting. If I can ever get to the free clinic about half an hour's drive from me, I can get Donnatal( or Belladonna, whichever is the generic...I forget), which "works" in that it slows everything down inside. The bad thing is that if I take it when I'm in pain, it seems to ease the pain a little but EXTENDS the length of the pain... But it's better than nothing, right?I'm also on clonopin for panic attacks and Lexapro for OCD symptoms... Side note, Lexapro can have a nasty weight-gaining side effect. 30 pounds in three months!I smoke and I drink coffee, which I know is horrible. I scold myself for it. But coffee in the morning is about the only way I can have a bowel movement on a "regular" basis. Usually, even my watered down excuse for coffee does the trick.I've tried just about every diet out there, including the SCD, which admittedly did help some, but not enough to justify the expensive nature of it. Maybe if I win the lottery I'll be able to go back on it :) Nothing seems to work for long. I tried metamucil and fiber supplements, multiple times. They seem to cause a colon cleansing the first two days, then stop working and just make me bloated as heck. So I usually reserve that for when I'm constipated bad.My lifestyle is very different from a normal person, but I still do stuff I love. I've started doing Graphic Design from home, I play with electronics, computers(old things that people just give me), I love the theatre, so I make props and gizmos for a local company.. I weld, I work with metal, I work with wood, I build stages, I make sound effects, I rig up lighting, I do a little bit of anything that gets my hands dirty(then I wash them like crazy, because OCD rules!)... It just takes me a hell of a long time to finish stuff. But it's fun. And I love to laugh.Normally, I write down a ton of stuff, then go back and edit and revise and make it all pretty and nice, but since my first post was kinda hectic and I had to run off before I could do any of that, I think I'll do the same with this and leave it as it is. You get to know me better this way
 
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