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Self image

696 Views 14 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  Arnie W
It seems that all the people who post on this site seem to be down on themsevles. I include myself in this category. I get down because I always feel that I'm offending or inconveniencing others with my stomach problems. You know...the fact that we all take the time to post on this site and try to find answers should be commended. I think we should all try to take a more positive attitude about ourselves.
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That's a tough one for the leaky gasser. I know if I weren't me, I'd be thinking, "why doesn't that dude take a shower" or someone dropped a load (sorry, it's late). Of course, that ain't the problem. I do agree with you, though, that a positive attitude helps a lot. I feel better physically when I feel better mentally.
I am a leaky gaser. I never know when it will happen. It makes me scared all the time. I guess in my post I was trying to start a pep rally of sorts, But, I guess we all feel and smell like **** from time to time.
nelly2 i think you are right - ibs seems to hurt the ego in us most of all. not sure what to do about that though. just try to stay as positive as possible. lately i've begun to master letting go of blame - knowing this isn't my fault is a big step - but i'm still depressed i have to live this way. i live with daily bloating and inability to release gas (the opposite of what you have).
yup, positivity helps...but it's not so easy...i find being around people that are positive and accepting helps a lot...totally brings my self-image and confidence up for the whole i try to go to breakfast at least every 2 weeks with my sister and this always makes that day great (in comparison to other days anyway!). but i find myself often having to work myself up to even stepping out the door in the morning...constant self-talk seems to help...
I have found that being on an antidepresent has helped. Today I think I had leaky gas once, but I didn't freak out about it. I am who I am. I'm very clean and am always looking to fix my problems. Why should I feel terrible about something I can't control? Read this article for inspiration. it talks about stomach noises but is applicable in any situation where we fear social embarassment
Some highlights from the article are " find that the best way to develop this indifference is to repeatedly tell myself that It's OK for my stomach to make noises, no matter the time or place." By thinking, in the past, that it was not OK, what I was doing was taking responsibility for something that I had no control over, which does not make sense and, above all, is a waste of energy.If you really want to live fully in spite of IBS, you have to develop the kind of confidence that is boosted, not shattered by ignorant reactions. In other words, you have to learn to "respond intelligently, even to unintelligent treatment." A tactic that I find really effective is mirroring. That is, whatever reaction I get from people, I mirror it back. For example, if someone stares, I stare back at them in exactly the same way; if someone laughs at my stomach, I laugh along with them. If I am not in the mood to 'mirror' I tend to phase out people's reactions completely (difficult but not impossible).The main point is to stop holding yourself accountable for having IBS and instead, start recognising how strong you are to be coping with it day after day. Direct this strength towards facing your fears instead of running from them. The truth is that nothing can happen that will make you any less than anybody else, even if society makes you feel otherwise""It is also important to be conscious of how you see yourself as an IBS sufferer. Many of us feel that we are socially unacceptable, which is giving the wrong message to ourselves as well as non-sufferers. IBS is said to affect at least one in ten people, yet one of the most common psychological complaints from sufferers is a feeling of isolation.It may seem like a harsh statement, but for each sufferer, who through embarrassment or even shame isolates him/herself socially, he/she perpetuates the ignorance of non-sufferers thus reinforcing the 'unaccepting' conditions which face fellow sufferers. My point in saying this is not to place blame, but to highlight the importance of collective action. Social acceptability is something we must gain together. If we wait for non-sufferers to make us feel acceptable, my guess is that we will be waiting, at best, a very long time.What is important is how we ourselves view our symptoms. The fact is, that many of us are ashamed to have IBS and would go to any lengths to conceal our condition. In so doing we mentally pre-condition our own acceptability, and validate the negative attitudes that we experience outside. I believe that if we were not so ashamed of our symptoms, we would be in a much better position to challenge rather than justify our unacceptability."Also I agree with Joan that we should not lame ourselves. It is not our fault. It is an illness like any other- heart disease or diabetes. We wouldn't feel shame if we had thoiose conditions. Nor should we feel ashamed of IBS, leaky gas whatever. It is not like it is in our control.
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I think I had leaky gas today and in a way I was thankful for it in that I could smell it. I figure, if I can smell it then it can't be going on all the time. It was sort of a learning experience. I''''m trying to be more positive.
It is hard to keep ones self esteem when people walk up to you and make remarks.My brother had open heart surgery Monday and I had to be at hospital all day and night. I got some pretty rude treatment from some of the help there. Including the guy dressed in green that came into the waiting room to find families. He ask if I was the skunk family. I pretended not ot be offended but I wanted to die.
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Joyce the next time someone says tsomething similar try to say " Is that so? I hadn't noticed it.." You have to be the champion of your rights not to have your feelings hurt.
I got some pretty rude treatment from some of the help there. Including the guy dressed in green that came into the waiting room to find families. He ask if I was the skunk family. I pretended not ot be offended but I wanted to die. What a bleep that guy was!!!
I agree with Bonnie's advice.I use to "turn the other cheek" when someone was deliberately rude or hurtful to me.Not anymore.I give as good as I get.It is very theraputic believe me.
What a pitiful excuse for a human being that creature was!
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I would throw some feces at that guy and then ask him how he liked smelling like ####. Sorry, I get a little riled up. Yeah, I know how you feel. I was on an overnight train from Interlaken to Barcelona, and I couldn't sleep. The little girl behind me kept saying it smelled like poop. I guess you can't fault the little kids for tellin' it like it is, but it still made me feel like #### (literally and figuratively).
I would have told the hospital guy, "Yes, I smell the skunk smell, too....every time you come into the room. I don't mean to embarass you but, is it you?"I work with kids and some of them can be smelly. I just accept it. I would never call them on it. We all have our bad days.That guy just sounds like a jerk.
It really is difficult to be positive, but I go along with joanofarc's comments, that is: I can't help it.I've done everything in my power to combat it.I don't choose to be socially offensive.If only I could laugh about it, but if anyone mentions that dreaded f word, I just want the ground to swallow me up.
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