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My problem is really gross but after a lot of thought I need to express it somewhere and as I think you lot are pretty unshockable when it comes to bowel movements, thought I would post it here.As a bit of background, I have had IBS both C&D for 10 years. Last year I had a very long,bad period of it which led to depression and eventually into a nervous breakdown. I lost my job and am now in recovery. My IBS at the moment is under control because of my anti depressants but my pyschologist who is helping me with my emotional issues has said that until I face up to whatever it is I'm hiding (she's very good!lol!) then I will always feel dirty, ashamed and humiliated about having IBS.So I thought sharing my problem/secret on here is my first brave move to accepting/acknowledging it.Basically every time I have a bowel movement I have to stick my fingers up my bottom and drag 'it' out, I then continue dragging stuff out until I feel really empty. This is the only way I feel 'empty' inside and can relax.However, this leads to a complete obsession about toilets because:a) I'm in there for ages at a time:( I am petrified that someone might see me and what I'm doing, so I have a phobia about toilets with no locks, sharing toilets, anyone being outside the toilet door...etc...etcc) It's obviously pretty disgusting and can't imagine that it's doing my insides much good either.Not sure what response I want but definately not one telling me how 'DISGUSTING' that is...cos I know Think it would be nice to know that there are other people out there who do pretty grim things in the bathroom out of desperation...Very sad, but glad I've made a brave step and finally admitted it to someone!Thanks
 

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I'm not going to tell you it's disgusting!!! But, I do want to know why you feel the need to "hand pick" them out? Is it because you are so constipated? Are the bowel movements getting stuck there?These are all important things to know because each one could cause someone to do this. My other thought is that this behavior is a compulsion (like OCD). Think about the people who pull out their hair, pick at their scan, etc. Are you doing this as a compulsion or will the stool come out on its own?
 

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I also have this problem and can very rarely get rid of any stool without having to pull it out.I felt ashamed too and found it really hard to tell anyone.I know its really really hard to cope with but believe me you are not alone. A bowel specialist I saw told me that she's been told by lots of people that they also have to do this. She gave me loads of rubber gloves and KY jelly and said its better to use them when doing it. My bowel muscles don't work well so I'm sure thats why I can't pass the stool normally. I'm waiting to get biofeedback done.You are not disgusting at all. You're not well. Have you told your GP that you have to do this? If not do so right away. Even if you have to write it down because its difficult to say it, its important to let them know. You see, I saw a couple of specialists before I told them about it and all it does is delay any help you can get. I wish I had told them before I did.Everyone on here I have spoken to have been very supportive and I am sure they will be the same with you.xx
 

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Ashamed - please call yourself something new - like "no longer ashamed". Therre are many people who get anxious and feel very low with their toilet habits. Sorry i'm "d" myself, but I was told to pull out waste when one of my children was a baby, it was considered perfectly ok, it helped the poor child, I used lots of vaseline.Well done for being brave - give yourself a big "pat on the back" start to compliment yourself on any step forwards, even if they may seem small steps.Stick around on the forum - when you see what people live with here, you may feel you are not the worse case by any stretch of the imagination. Even knowing that may be of some comfort.I was 14 when i got IBS -d toilets ruled my life, I lived in a huge amount of fear, which is hard to break. You are not disgusting - no one on here would ever tell you that.loveJude
 
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Oh thank god - how incredibly brave of you to own up. Me too - I'm a 42 year old woman with 3 kids and yes, I've been doing this for about 7 years. Its not nice, its not pretty but I honestly don't think it'd do any real long-term harm as long as you keep your hands clean afterwards. My 5 year old daughter burst in on me once - god how hideous "why are you picking your botty mummy" - what can you say. Lets keep a sense of humour here. I do it for exactly the same reason - I feel that the BM is incomplete, then I go and wash my hands and get on with the day. We are not mass-murderers, bigots, racists are we, we just have an illness.Sue
 

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Ashamed,You shouldn't be! But I can see why because I feel like I'm the only person with IBS sometimes (until I found this forum!) My bowel muscles seem to have gotten really weak, too, and I think that's why people cant push stool out. I have never been able to bring myself to touch my stool, but I do have to (this is kind of yucky,too) go through the wall of my vagina and push it out. (that's the first time I've ever admitted it to anybody, so I guess you can feel pretty safe on this board!). I haven't talked to my GI about this because I kind of thought I was the only person with problems like that. So thanks for your bravery, ashamed!I will def. try the suppositories.
 

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You are NOT alone; personally, both our bathrooms at home have handheld showers for this very reason and it's why i LOVE living and being in france; how americans keep their bums clean with our ridiculous showers is beyond me. I use "fingercots" from the drugstore and prep H cream (not ointment) to do what you do and i generally have to do it sometime in the afternoon as opposed to the mornings. Anyway, my doc said it may have to do with my diverticulosis and narrowing of sigmoid, or, just a plain spastic old colon, whatever. I do it, it is almost compulsion-like, i have learned to live with it and when traveling in america i just cope and deal because there are no handheld showers anywhere!
 

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I have the same problem and I've never learned how to deal with incomplete evacuation. During the morning I have larger, softer, often well-formed bms, and don't worry about it too much. Later in the day, there is always pebbly stool in the back passage, so I have the same obsession as the other posters to get it out. I'm wondering if biofeedback or kegels would help.
 

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My doctor TOLD me one time to stick my finger up my vagina to help get things going. He said lots of women have to do that. I don't do that because it doesn't help me but whatever you have to do is NOTHING to be ashamed about! Have you tried any medications, such as Zelnorm? And magnesium (i use about 800mg to 1000mg a day). I experience alot of OCD around my bowel habits and 2 weeks ago I shared my 'rituals' about my bathroom habits with my psychiatrist and I've seen him for years! He didn't bat an eye, believe me, they've heard it all before. Lexapro has helped ease some of the obsessive thoughts about all this bowel stuff and has not aggravated my C. You won't get criticized around here. We are here to support each other and you are so not alone!
 
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