It was supposed to be my 1st day back at work today..after basically 3 months of trying to figure this IBS out, having a kidney stone attack and my grandpa dying etc... And here I sit...I relaxed all Long Weekdend, didn't even stir to do laundry...I got up early, had my apple juice right away, my tea after the shower to relax...did my hair (hey it even looks good!), did the makeup....had my "power clothes" picked out last night (even de-cat furred!!)...I actually don't look that bad today....and then it struck....ZOOOOMMMMMM!!!! To the "throne" to give my sacrifice to the "porceline god" (I'm getting to the point now that virgins would be preferred over this!!) Not only that but I think I am having a partial panic attack...I'm drenched in sweat, having problems breathing and have the shakes. (You know they should really think about putting phone jacks in the bathroom...that way a laptop could be installed...)I am so angry at my "betrayal" of my body right now. My company said that I was rejected for my last leave request, found out on Friday that the appeal I did was denied so I have to pay back a week's worth of work to them.. I know this is likely stress...and the more I try to relax the worse it will be...I'm still hoping for noon to go in...but DAMN!!! This is so aggarvating when my mind wants to be there...was looking forward to it...and now dammit, my mascara is running...Thanks for listening to me rant. At least I have a docs appn't this morning anyways. I guess that will be my silver lining.