[Constinker]

I'm just wondering how everyone else meets new people and finds new friends.I have always found it difficult to find new friends, even before I came down with FBO, but I was comfortable enough then to go out and meet new people. I'd go to Japanese classes and the expat bars here. I've always been quiet, I've never been terribly articulate or exciting. Some have said I have massive walls that keeps everyone out. My family and the friends I've got in Canada hypothosize that since I was neglected and abandoned before I turned one, and that the next five years consisted of my being put into foster homes where foster parents were told not to get close to the children might have something to do with my 'walls'. In fact, I couldn't talk before the age of five. It has been shown in a series of tragic events (the three child policy in Romania) that children who don't bond in the first three years of their lives never really learn how to bond, and perhaps that's my case to some extent, although I've got a couple good friends in Canada.I live in Japan now. I had two friends, but they moved back to their respective home countries, and in the midst of a divorce, I came down with FBO.I have been living my life mostly in solitude. I tried going out to the expat bars a couple times, but the negative reactions kind of drove me back home in short order, but I realize that solitude is no way to live, unless you're like a Buddhist monk that's meditating everyday and can stay content in complete solitude.So how does everyone else meet new people here? How do they make friends?

 

[Tiger337]

University classes or community ed classes can be a good place to meet friends. I would recommend fun classes like cooking or learning a language. I have met friends playing volleyball in the city adult recreation league. www.asiafriendfinder.com in also good. I like to run long distance. I did marathon training with a group from the fitness club and met friends there. I have seen expat websites. Perhaps there are some in Japan.I hope this helps.Alan

 

[werwer]

Hi, I understand about the friend problem (although not in Japan.)Sometimes I wonder what's worse: being alone most of the time, or being around people stressed out about whether they'll accept you. My problem isn't exactly like yours--I have attacks of excessive gas, but it's usually, well, it usually has nothing in common with a rose. We can meet people who are like us and who understand and accept us online, but that may not be as good as face to face. We can have pets. I've been thinking about getting some incense to burn if people come to visit (not likely; I have few friends, none very close, and I don't invite them when I'm like this). Or we can just go out there and be what we are and hope that some of the people do accept us, because there are people who will. So far, I'm not that brave, and tend to stay home during an attack (which can last weeks or months), but who knows, I may just up and do it. Bravo for getting out there yourself.I'm thinking about starting a meetup group for IBS and maybe other intestinal problems, but sometimes the idea doesn't seem so great. Best wishes to you.

 

[Common Response]

Incense can be a little over powering.I find essential oils in an oil burner are far better.Not only capable of covering general odors but can also provide psychological benefits.My favourite oils are:Bergamote = gives feeling of freshness & joy.Ylang Ylang = relieves anxiety & tension.Neroli = combats insomnia & depression.Clary Sage = multiple benefits.Orange = refreshing & invigoratinghttp://www.ceraprint.com.my/catalog/images...il%20Burner.jpg

 

[b_veggie]

I understand your situation constinker, I think most of us go through it. Its difficult to yourself around new people especially when you're constantly worrying if they are smelling you. I want to make new friends too but normally I avoid contact with new people and large groups as much as poss. If I know I'm going to be around people who don't understand my situation I normally carry a really small perfume that fits in my pocket to spray in case I get anxious and smelly

And go on an elimination diet at least 2 days before. But I think it helps to meet new people in a busy/ noisy place e.g a bar e.t.c. Because if you smell no-one can really tell if it was you or not and cos its so noisy they won't really go out of there way to announce it! lol. But in a quiet 1-1 situation it might be easier once you've gotten to know them better (over the phone

) to tell the truth. But try not to let IBS/FBO stop you from living YOUR life, you only have one (that you remember) and its not your fault you have this condition. It should be treated just like any other illness really. You can't help it, if you could then you would. Be brave and breathe through your mouth.... Good luck