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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I want to thank everyone for their kind words and support. It was a difficult weekend. We when to the visitation on Saturday, there was alot of people there. It was an open casket which we were not expecting, as she went through the windshield. It didn't look like her, they had made a lot of repairs to her face and put on thick make-up to try to hide their handy work. But I'm glad it didn't look like her, I don't want to remember her that way. Joyce was very calm, (I think from sheer exhaustion) her face was swollen and red but she seemed calm, she paid extra attention to Rose, hugging her and talking about the comming baby. They hugged for so long a huge line up was waiting behind us. We went to the funeral yesterday, it was so difficult, Joyce looked as if she were going to colapse, her small children looked confused and didn't understand, one of them asked why the pretty box was being put in the ground. Several people were sobbing, but mostly it was very quiet tears, we didn't want to push joyce over the edge, though I don't consider myself a crier I found it nearly impossible to be calm, tears poured down Rose's face but she never made a sound. But as the minister got to the "ashes to ashes" part Joyce started to sob and wail, and then she bolted from the cemetary, then everyone lost it, Kevin had to put us in the car one at a time. Joyce was upset later that she had done it, she was worried people would think she was rude! There was nothing she could have done that we would not have understood. Joyce is the youngest of a large family, and in the comming days they will give her comfort, but as they drift away to get on with their lives Rose and I will make sure she gets our attention, we wrote all our contact numbers in the cards and Joyce wants to know when the baby comes, Rose is hoping for a girl so she can name it Sarah. I should have mentioned that the drunk driver was killed also and it was a woman. This 32 year old woman was Sarah's softball coach, she had picked the kids up at Sarah's cousins. Once they were on the road Sarah & Mike knew she was drunk, Sarah pleaded with her to pull over and let them out, they took their seat belts off believing she intended to drop them by the side of the road, but she lost control, the car flipped, the driver & Sarah were killed on impact. There were 2 boys in the back, my cousin Mike & a boy named Brian. Brian hadn't taken off his seatbelt, and only had minor bruises, Mike broke both his legs, received severe head & face injuries. They removed a piece of his skull to relieve the presure, put in a trake tube, and yesterday he had his first operation to try to reconstruct his face, one of many. He can't feel his legs from the knees down, which may get better.He is listed in stable condition, but he will never be the same. The moral of this story, don't trust anyone with your kids, and never take your seatbelt off until the car is at a complete stop.The other difficult thing about the funeral was that the driver was put in the viewing room across the hall from Sarah, in better circumstances that would never have happened, but as I mentioned before, its a very small town with only one funeral home, at least they didn't hold her service on the same day. The terrible part was that several people went to view the womans remains and said loud enough to be heard that they wanted to see Sarahs killer. I felt bad for that womans family. Well its done, time for the healing to begin, if such a thing is possible. Thank you for being so supportive, and for all of the kind emails.I am feeling weary and sore, and coping with a headache but I held up well under the circumstances, I don't feel any more miserable physically than I usually do, at least for the moment, and of course the IBS is back with a vengence, but thats to be expected I guess.Anyway, thanks for listening to me babble.Lori Ann
 
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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Oh, Lori Ann, what a horrible thing to go through. I'm glad it is over for you, at least the first part and as you said, now the healing starts.Take care of yourself, now, okay? My thoughts are with you. Lynne
 
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Lori Ann, How horrible and sad. When I first read about this I said a very long prayer for all of you and will keep on until the pain lessens, I know that will be a long time. You may not be a crying person but don't be afaid to. It's so important to us to let it out. Tears help us release our pain and anger, it's very theaputic. Get alone and let it loose. There is a time to cry, this is sure one of them. May God give you all strength. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself please. jfaith
 

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Lori Ann, I just wanted to let you know that we are all hear for you . My prayers are with you all . Please take care of yourself .
 
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Hi everyone,I just wanted to give an update on my cousin Mike - his reconstruction surgery was delayed due to an infection which has developed behind his eyes. His condition is even more grave than we were originally told. Three disks in his back are shattered, and they believe the slivers have cost him the use of his legs, but they are unable to operate yet, do to the infection and his weakened state. He landed on his head when he was ejected from the car, and his skull was crushed from his eyebrows to the crown of his head, they didn't remove a section to relieve pressure as we were originally told, they removed the crushed and broken pieces. I simply can't believe he is still alive. They do not know how extensive the brain damage is, but he is out of the coma and can squeeze our hand. However, it will not be a shock if he doesn't survive. I wondered why they would tackle the reconstructive surgery before his spine, but I can understand it now. I am closer to Mikes parents than I am to Mike, mostly because he is so much younger than me, but he is the same age as my daughter Rose and they went to school together, she is beside herself with worry and the stress of this and Sarahs death has made her ill. The doctor has put her on bedrest until the baby comes (in the next 4 weeks or so)and I had to send Beth (my 12 year old) to stay with her. All in all its been a hellish week. Sarah is burried only a short distance from my house so I can go visit her. I think about her a hundred times a day. My son came rushing in from a bike ride down the road today and said, "There is a new grave near the edge of the cemetery that has a pile of flowers almost as tall as me!" The innocence of youth. I told him it was Sarahs grave and he suddenly related to the fact she was there. Is this week ever going to get any easier? But we are all still coping, thats something at least. Thank you for letting me vent about this here, I can't talk about it to anyone here, feelings are too raw.Lori Ann
 

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Hi Lori Ann , Hang in there I know it must be awful rough for you now . I believe that the sorrow of death never get's easier we just find a way to deal with it better . I have a hard time dealing with death . I still have alot of greif for my dad who passed away . Please don't feel like you are burden any body here with this. Things like this is what we are here for . Please take care of yourself . My paryers and thoughts will be with you . God Bless and take care. Pat
 
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Lori Ann, there are no words that can come close to expressing the feeling of sorrow and senseless loss with the death of Sarah and the trauma Mike sustained. I was stunned and in tears as I read your account. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you, your family and your friends. I pray Mike's condition improves. The body is amazing at what it can recover from. My heart goes out to you. DeeDee
 
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