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Hi everyone,

I decided to share my story, cause I recently started to look at it in a different perspective. I cope with IBS since about 10 years. I always sepererated my issues to different periods of my life, but I might was wrong. It's hard to tell, so I'm really curious what would others say about it, but I dont really talk about it to others - not even to my parents (yet). I'm 23 now and I started to look at the world and its actions as one whole complex system in my past few years. However, I only did it with my life in the past few weeks. It just makes somewhat mighty sense. I will try to write down everything relevant, which I never actually did before, so its kind of new for me too.

So lets start with my birth. I came to this world 2 weeks ahead of my schedule, I did not look good, and I actually had to stay in incubator for a few days, because my lungs did not function. There had to be some great people rushing me to an other hospital, where they saved me. My mother didn't (probably couldn't) feed be breast milk, I was fed with the powder. In my first years, I had lactose allergy.

Later on the allergy seemed to disappear, I was living a pretty healthy age during 3-6 or so, except a few things. I was (and still I am) generally shy and a bit anti-social. While others played outside, I often stayed inside the kindergarten to draw. My parents accepted me as that happily, and I don't really disagree, but I think I already had some kind of inner pressure, since I did some really bad things to my close friends those times. I mean aggressive outbursts by this. Fortunately none of these acts ended with serious injuries to my friends, and I still have a good relationship with all of them.

However, there was one thing that might caused me some serious injuries, or better say a trauma. It happened In a pretty sad way from my point of view. During my first years in school, my lactose allergy returned (maybe in connection with the stress of school?) and this deepened my shy and antisocial side. But the worst thing came at the worst moment. As i say, the need of going to the toilet regularly (in the school) was pretty stressful for me (probably would be for everyone). I think some anxiety already developed in me by that time, but the worst was just coming. Once, when I had to rush to the toilet, an assh0le had a "great" thought. He wanted to show others how amazing he is, so he came after me and peed on me. Of course he was 3 years older then me, and my disorder already successfully ruined my balls. So I did nothing to stop him. (Also, great that the school had no locks on those doors) Anyway, others did like his jokes, I remember they laughing, and I also remember that the story had a pretty long life. Pretty much thats all I remember of this story, I dont really remember my following year in that school, but after 4th grade my parents moved me to a smaller school, closer to my home, with a much more familiar atmosphere. (The first school was in downtown, and I feel safe to say that that one had much worse idiots. They were those rich daddy's kids who got nothing in mind just fame, greed and more fame.) Looking back at these times, Im pretty sure it was a "good" root for the IBS that developed in me after a freedom week during a summer holiday.

I was about 13 years old, first time Ive been left at our home alone for about a week. This was when my weak personality exploded. I was playing on a PS2 which I had from a friend, I was eating junk food mainly, and it took about 5 days to successfully destroy my digestion. After this, I had serious pain and diarrhea for 3 weeks. It did never totally gone away, It took many years spending so much time and money on doctors and their pointless antibiotics (which probably just worsened it all), to figure out that they can find nothing (or more like.. they didnt want to), they never told me that I simply destroyed the balance of my gut's bacterial world.

I figured it out about 5 years ago, I avoid eating dairy products, alcohol, sugar, and trying to be careful with too much meat and gluten. My digestion is getting better and better now, I take probiotics periodically. I went to live in China 3 years ago, where I went to see a traditional chinese doctor, I took medicine for 3 weeks, and looking back it might did something.

I realized i deal with some anxiety, probably since a while, it just worsened now. Im still skinny as always been, which is partly because of my genes, but mainly because I spent too much time infront of the screen. Also, after spending most of my saved money, Its feeling a bit lost. So my digestion is better now, but its really not done yet. It makes me feel like IBS is a lifestyle.
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