I am getting so incredibly tired and depressed about this stupid illness. I can't remember the last day when I didn't have pain or some kind of problem with going to the toilet. I'm 19 and at college, these should be the best days of my life! I've been having pain and problems since I was about 12 and I really don't know what I have done to deserve this. I'm a good person! and I've never abused my body I've always looked after it!The worst thing is, I know my life could be so good if it wasn't for this. I have a wonderful boyfriend and great friends but i'm drifting apart from everyone. I've been too scared to leave the house for the last 3 months because of this terrible D and pain. I can't stand to have my boyfriend touch me and I can't bring myself to tell him why either because I feel so embarassed. And what's even stupider is I know I shouldn't be embarassed! Why should I be embarassed about something I can't help?? Everyone is out drinking and having a good time, IF i do go out i end up sitting in the corner because i can't eat or drink anything other than water without having the rush to the toilet.I can't see things getting better. It seems as though they will only get worse. There are so many things I want to do in life, have a good job, finish my degree, travel and see the world but I can't see myself doing any of that at the moment. I feel as though I'm going to be confined to a ###### life of eating tasteless food, hardly leaving the house and constantly worrying about where the nearest toilet is. I don't even feel as though I can tell anyone, I'm too embarassed!! I don't want this to ruin my life but at the moment it's completely controlling it. I just want it all to stop.