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I can share what I have learned in my IBS journey. I have had reactions similar to what you're describing while re-introducing foods. At the time I was really sick and I think my system saw everything as an attack. The time delay thing can cause confusion too. Some things I'll react to immediately, others it can take days so I don't know what caused the problem.

One thing rarely discussed is the temperature of foods. Cold foods and drinks make my digestive system shut down. Even water has to be room temperature. And I keep a heating pad on my stomach after meals whenever I can. If I have anything cold, anything I put in my stomach after that is going to cause cramping, gas and basically agony.

For me, the cramping kicks in within 30 minutes of eating dairy but with both corn and especially gluten it could take days before I'd feel it. So it took a long time for me to get that corn and gluten were causing issues for me. Eliminating dairy, corn, gluten and eggs has helped a lot. And those are all sneaky ingredients. Obviously there's gluten in bread and pasta, but it's also in vegetarian burgers and soy sauce.

When I had CFS, it was the acupuncturist who helped me. She said I had to absolutely cut out sugar completely and told me it had to do with "leaky gut." It helped a LOT.

I eat mostly cooked veggies like green beans, squash, mushrooms, carrots and celery but no onions or garlic. Still waiting to see how peppers and tomatoes sit but they may be out too.

Rice is always good and I just eat a variety - jasmine, brown, short grain, long grain, etc. I season it with gluten free chicken stock.

Most meats are okay but I need to watch the spices because they can have onions and gluten. Roasted chicken is especially good. Beef can be a little like trying to swallow a pillow - especially with flares. Shrimp and crab sometimes work. Fish almost always works but if I cook it with too much oil I get a flare up.

Fruits - nothing that's super high water and no citrus. I like berries and mangoes mostly. Dried can cause flares for me. Maybe they use something in the processing.

Split peas and lentils are good. Strangely enough, potatoes have been making my stomach unhappy lately.

Best of luck to your family. It can get better.
 
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