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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
ok, well this isn't exactly IBS related. But you guys understand gross bowel issues. And there's no one else I could ask.Give me your honest opinion on this. Only a couple people my age know about my ileostomy. They accept it but they've never seen it. You guys are close to my age... so... I posted a pic of my stoma (end of small intestine that is sewn to my abdomen) online the other day to show to a girl w/ crohns who's going to get one. So... if you're brave, go to my photo album and look and tell me your honest opinion. Are you grossed out by this? Do you think it's totally hideous and grotesque? Would you still be attracted to a person who has a stoma and has to wear an ostomy bag all the time (and I mean all the time, including sex, showers, etc) to collect their liquid poo?so, here's the link... http://photos.yahoo.com/kate_118 click on the album called "Buddy" (that's my stoma;s name) BTW no you won't see any poo in this pic. don't say anything just to be nice either. If you would be really freaked out by this... tell me. Kate
 

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Hi KateI had a look at ur pics and i was really surprised. i dont know anyone personally with a stoma and i have never seen pictures. I think its great ur posting them to help someone else (ive never been so educated on matters of the bowels since i became an ibs sufferer
)i was surprised cause the bag looks quite small (obviously pics arent the best when it comes to real dimensions but it looked kinda smallish ?? )When it comes to boyfriends - with me its kindof the other way around, my boyf has quite a few bad scars. Its the old *makes you unique* situation
and sorry to say the old line but i truly believe if u love someone.. of course, there are always ignorant people out there (as i was saying about me and bowels before
)when it comes to love, maybe some guys will reply to this post.. im just another romantic girlie after all
But honestly, the pics didnt freak me out.Take careJulie
 

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Hi Kate!
quote: Are you grossed out by this?
No!
quote: Do you think it's totally hideous and grotesque?
No!
quote: Would you still be attracted to a person who has a stoma and has to wear an ostomy bag all the time?
Yes!
quote: Don't say anything just to be nice either.
I�m not saying it just to be nice. I think you�re a very attractive girl and the stoma/ostomy bag doesn�t change that one bit! It�s not hideous or grotesque. It�s simply part of you. Rock on and God bless, chick-a-dee!
TheDude
 

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Right kate.I will be perfectly honest, Im not sure if freaked out if exactly the right word. Initially i was a bit shocked but Im more upset because it must be such a hassle for you, and your so young. I just feel awful that there was no other way.
But really, its not that bad. I thought it would be worse.If you find a guy that loves you though it doesn't matter about the bag or anything because he owuld love you for who you are. Yuo are very pretty
What guy wouldn't find you attractive!
Don't worry about it. Its part of what makes you you! Nikki
 

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I don't think it's gross. Like the others said - it's a part of you. You have your unique scars and parts. I have my unique scars and parts. It's what makes us all special!I'm a hopeless romantic female as well, so I might not be the right person to rule on this. But, I'm with those who say that someone's going fall in love with you - scars and all! And, he'll have his own body issues that you'll love as well - just because they're a part of him and what makes him special to you.I'm very impressed that you posted pictures for someone who's going to have the procedure done! What a sweet gesture! I hope you're able to be there for this girl as she goes through what you've been through. It'll be great for her to have someone to talk to. You can truly empathize with her.
 

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I agree with everyone else -- it's not really all that bad. I didn't know what to expect, but my first thought was, "Oh, is that it?" As for the whole attractiveness/dating thing, I really won't worry about it. Although people have to be physically attracted to each other, the real relationships are really centered around loving who the other person is (not to be overly cliched). I think that given the latter being the case, I don't think there would be a problem -- I feel this is relatively minor (although I'm sure it doesn't seem that way sometimes!) I just remember when I first got IBS I thought no one would ever want to date me given the extra hassle, but it ended up that I met someone who was sympathetic to the special things that went along with having it, and we dated for almost a year (it ended for other reasons). It's just a matter of time before you find someone who will feel the same way about you -- regardless of any surgeries that you've had.
 

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It's most important to remember that anyone who loves you will accept you for who you are. I know it's soooo cliche, but I really believe that. Remember that any guys who meet you aren't going to see that right away, they're going to notice how you look and what your personality is like-- and since you're pretty and you seem nice, you won't have any problem meeting guys. When it comes down to it, when you do find someone and you decided to tell him and show him, if he's truly the kind of person you want to be with, he'll accept it, because he'll love YOU, and how we poop has nothing to do with how who are, as people
.Don't even worry about it grossing people out. New people will meet you and get to know you and love you for who you are, and if it grosses anyone out, then those are the kind of people who aren't worth your time anyway.Good luck, and don't be ashamed of it.
 

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Hey KateNo it's not gross. The TPN stuff is kinda overwhelming, but like others said it looks a lot smaller than you'd think. And I've read that the bags are so flat now you can't see them even if you wear tight clothes. Is that the case?I'm really glad you posted all that stuff to check out. I'm thankfully no where near surgery for the crohn's, but that's always something that's sort of "out there" for peeps with IBD. You've helped me not be so afraid of it, but if I can avoid it I obviously won't complain either.I concur that you're a beautiful woman. Hey I'm not trying to pick you up or anything
But any guy who would let that thing get in the way of being with you as a whole is an idiot!
 

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Feel inclined to ask lots of questions...I was a tad bit shocked at the pic bit it's not gross, if blokes don't like it then they are with you for looks only and any bloke with you for looks only has got serious issues.So, you have described this to us before but I've not really got a full understanding of it. What is it there for and what does it do in relation to your IBS and Chrohns? Alos, does it hurt to touch becuase it almost looks kinda like an open wound?!
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
thanks... you guys really made me feel better. so hopefully when I find a guy I trust enough to tell he will react the same way. but some people my age can be so immature... I guess I'll just have to make sure I find a good one who will think its no big deal.betagirl- the bags are flat... think like a ziploc baggie (only a different shape) but, that's when it's empty. Depending on what and how much you eat, it can fill up pretty fast and you have to empty it alot to keep it from showing through clothes and a buldge.hellsangels- it's called an ostomy, mine is an ileostomy. All of my diseased colon was taken out because of severe ulcerative colitis- so the red thing (the "stoma") is the end of my small intestine (called the ileum- hence "ileostomy". People who've had only part of their colon taken out have the end of the colon as their stoma, that's called a "colostomy" which is more common and done for colon cancer and diverticulitis) So the intestine is brought out of a hole in the abdomen and the skin sewn around it. You wear a bag that sticks to your skin and everything from the intestine drains into it... and you don't poop. The stuff that comes out is liquid and is green/brown (if you have a colostomy it's more like regular poop) and you empty it into the toilet maybe 8 times a day and once at night. And you change the whole thing every couple of days. It doesn't have much feeling in it... although it hurts if you fall on it or something. I had it for UC (which is very similar to crohn's) it's alot different and more serious than IBS.lol sorry that's so long.anyway thanks guys. I'm glad to kow that people my age can accept it.Kate
 

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Hi Kate,Well u have already has heaps of responses, hope u got room for one more.To be honest it was nothing like what I was expecting, I thought it would be alot worse. If a man really loves you, then it isnt something that should be a problem. If it is he is just a superficial man who you are better of without.I am so sorry this has happened to you though, all the medication, and fears you must have and be going through and at such a young age. :love: Poo Pea
 

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I have just learned so much reading about this and I sure do admire you ...It did not freak me out whatso ever , I was surprised that it did not look worse ..I think that is often the problem people imagine that it looks very gross when in reality it dont. Reading about this has really educated me and you have nothing to worry about , im sure guys will still find u attractive ....Thank you
 

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AFter seeing that, I realized that there are people worse off than me, and i complain so much!....but no, it isnt really gross. And youre extremely pretty too,which should make boys compete even harder for you (inst that the way!). I think you will find a guy someday who will love you not just in spite of it. but just lovey ou. I hate when people say they love you inspite of whatever is wrong with you.I'm having a good day, I think.
 
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