Young people with IBS & Relationships

Hello! First off, welcome to the board, I've never seen you on here before. Secondly, there are lots of us on here that are pretty young. (not saying that 30 isn't young guys , just meaning that I meant in Lonely Guy's age range. I am 20 year old gal, with a boyfriend of 2 years. When my IBS symptoms started showing last summer (but at the time I just thought I was lactose intolerant), I found it really hard, frustrating, and embarassing. I couldn't go anywhere without having to run home to use the bathroom! And whenever I was in public and the D couldn't be avoided, I'd start to cry out of frustration and embarassment. Whenever I would leave being with my friends, they were always wondering "why don't you just stay out with us?" but then they started to realize why I couldn't. Now its more of a joke of my "chronic diarrhea", and no one cares if I have to go home. (well, I do). Now I find that I avoid certain situations .. and thats not a good thing. I am just starting to adjust to the idea now of IBS, and its really hard on me. Overall, my relationships weren't really affected, most of my friends know about it, although some do still give me a hard time ("Why aren't you drinking tonight? You never drink!!!"). I just say I'm not interested in it anymore. I hope this helps. You're really not alone.

you are not the only one!i am 25 and was diagnosed at 21. it is so hard to get to a place of trust with someone where you feel like you can be yourself, and not just in relationships but in friendships too. it's always that same feeling of anxiety and fear that you are not like everyone else in one way or another. but the approach that i have taken is brutal honesty. if i am not honest from the beginning (whenever it's on your mind is a good time to speak up) then i end up experienceing so much more guilt--for imposing on someone that doesn't know the whole situation--and fear--that they will think something is wrong with me. and honestly, if someone told you they had an overactive bladder would you think any less of them? so be strong and honest. deal with your challenges and give the people who care about you a chance to help.the brutal honesty is aggonizing at first, but then you see how person after person still wants to be your friend, and it gets so much easier. don't give up!pennyps is 25 still young? lol

Well, I am a 25 year old guy, and believe me I understand your problem!!The worst thing is not being able to hang out with people, I cannot drink, cannot eat out at restaurants etc, so there is no point in going out with friends I guess that its not such a big problem in a relationship kind of way, especially if your partner understands your problem, I find it that my biggest problem is isolation, because I cannot hang out with people like a normal person does.But hang in there, IBS doesnt have to be a lifelong condition!! there are many cases where it can be beaten, so there is hope for all of us

HiI am 26 and have had IBS-D since I was 14...High school was a nightmare..I missed out on so much..Including the prom!!! I had very few friends and was withdrawn...After high school, I had a few boyfriends, and unfortunately they felt I was "boring" and a "homebody"...And anytime I went to a social gathering, I would be in a panic if someone else was driving, and public bathrooms were hard to use out of embarrassment..There will be people who will not understand,,But I assure you there will be people who will understand..I have dated my current boyfriend for only 4 months, and though I cant do everything I want to,,,he shows no impatience with me..If I dont feel well, and want to stay in..its fine with him,,cause he knows I'll have good days where I can go out and have fun..It frustrates me cause there is so much I want to do,,,and work is hard sometimes to get thru,,but I try to think of that I can still do things,,and I am not bad off as someone in a wheelchair or blind,,etc...Just take life one day at a time...Hope it helps to know you're not alone!!

Im seventeen and so far none of my friends know that i have ibs-d. they just know i have "stomach problems" and that i cant eat certain foods. i dont have a boyfriend, but if i did, i think i would tell him i had ibs after a couple months of dating and i knew i could trust him not to make fun of me, take me seriusly, and try to understand. btw, i actually did meet a guy who had ibs, but he moved away and i havnt seen him since

I'm also 25 and have been stuggling with this almost my whole life. It just got really bad with IBS-C and PAIN PAIN PAIN this past year. I was already married when this got bad, but my hubbie knew all about my tummy troubles when I met him. At least we got the first three years to party like kids. Now I feel like such an adult at 25. Never thought it would come so soon. Like others said, I can't drink, eat out at restaurants without bringing my own food or stay out late at night. I have to believe a lot of this is stress related (just got married, bought a house, teaching and finishing my thesis for my masters) and that it will even out once I get a handle on it all.I'm trying hypno therapy, breathing exercises, my special diet (after months of trying I found one that I really like and I can live with) and contemplating medication (anitdepressants, zelnorm) What are you guys doing? Maybe we should all go out together! We could bring our own food and be tucked in bed by 10 p.m.!

Well heres my advise, I tell them out bluntly from the very beginning that I have IBS and if they have a problem with that then hell its their problem, you will find friends who will stick with you reguardless of your IBS, the ones who run away are what you call, "fools." IBS makes me in a fowl mood 99 percent of the time so me being blunt is quite normal. lol Actually I tell a lie, hmm I have always been blunt, just don't take #### from people if they don't want to understand what you have then hell don't explain it to them again. Sorry if I sound a little pissed but I have had many people who ask everytime I see them "what do you have again" thats when I say "I told you yesturday the day before and if I remember correctly the day before that" And every day from the last day. So I will say again you will find someone, and that someone will NOT care if you have to leave suddenly and will NOT ask you 24 7 360 days a year, and will still like you wheather you have a walker two caines and four wheels. (and I don't mean an automobile) Maybe I need to stay away from the beer. I guess I needed to vent but I think thats as much vent on this post. Well im going to strole away on my four wheels, just as long as I don't trip over the two caines and the walker. Damn the caines got stuck in my wheels oh no not the stairs, not again. P.S, im 23 and im not on four wheels and don't use two caines and a walker.

I understand what you mean. I'm 20, was diagnosed with IBS at 19 and am really just starting to learn what sets me off. I have a boyfriend who I know TRIES to be understanding, but at the same time is in absolute perfect health. At first I tried to cover up when I had to run to the bathroom and say that I felt nauseous and just needed some time to calm down, but that excuse only works so much . It's important to find a person to be with who can be understanding of a problem that you will have to deal with forever. There are many people out there who are just perfectly healthy, and often people have referred to what I have as an "upset stomach"-- I want to be like, No! It's so much more than that! Just make sure you have supportive friends. I'm in college and have had a hard time with dorm bathrooms, etc, and privacy. I guess it's just always going to be a struggle, but with the right people surrounding you, it is a little bit easier.